when the mind feels uncertained, the heart seemed unclear

WHHEEEEE.. I'M ALL SMILESSSS =D

Wana know why?

Simply for 3 simple reasons..

1. ITS PAY DAY !

2. I got a PAY INCREMENT; thanks to our big boss.
(aint telling my pay so don't bother asking)

3. Sold a suite & i'm gona get my INCENTIVE(s)!

Yea its all about money, i'm not about being materialistic but how great is that when the thought of money coming into your pocket. Never would i imagine i would have a pay increment and like which hotel would actually have that salary with a 2 days off week? And so, for the sake of my future i might re-adjust my plannings; it wouldnt be for long but it wouldnt be that short either because the work is shit. Anyway i'm gona try hard and save 10k within a year. I know its crazy and might not be possible because afterall my pay is still peanuts and i do give some of my salary to my parents but then again, the impossibles can also be possible and i'm gona make that happen. I aint born with a golden or silver spoon in my mouth and i'm neither well to do therefore i need to save for my future because my parents are getting old and i cannot depend on them forever. Besides i gotta save for my medicals because it aint cheap and i'm not as lucky as you people as i've to see the doctor for a lifetime.

My roster is pathetic this week because its neither here nor there but its okay because i get to have the weekends off (= Shall pamper myself a good shopping therapy. Gona be an occupied weekends. Having dinner this friday with my colleagues, meeting my friend on saturday and finally spring cleaning cum family day on sunday!

Met up with Glenda at town afew days back and we did some shopping. Headed to bugis later on because it has been ages since we last visited the place. Bought a black top and yea its black again; not that i'm sadist but i just love black and my wardrobe has been conquered by blacks so much so my mum hates me buying that colour & i'm still buying it. Like i care. Haha! Gona clear my stupid wardrobe and get rid of the ones thats been lying like a white elephant, nothing but collecting dust and taking up space.

Oh you know what people. I never did realize that even when you don't contact the people surrounding you, they still do talk about you without you knowing it and taking note of what your actions. I seriously have got no time to entertain everyone and friends of mine ever since i started working and my life has been so dull that i don't understand why do people still bother to know whats happening with my life. I got to find out something interesting lately and i seriously have got clueless idea. I'm amazed with the fact that someone has been saying that i've been attached when the fact that i'm not. Like how comical is that? I aint disturbed by that but goodness me whoever you are please get your facts right before telling people the wrong things. I know people are concern that i'm still single but at the end of the day its my life that i'm leading and not anyone else (=

Its 24 more hours before the month of January ends. 2 more working days to my off day. 1.5 more weeks before my leave gets approve. 2 more weeks till someone's exam ends. 3 more weeks to CNY(i think) and why don't i have the festive mood in me? 4 more weeks before the month of February ends and i seriously want the month of February to end slower and the month of march not to come.

Aiights gotta stop here and get my rest. Working midshift later and i'm falling sickkk again. Last but not least congrats to rebecca on her birth to little emberlynn and having her one month old celebration soon (=

Twinkle sweet dreams my dear readers !

*her afterwork tired look & Sheryll, a nice girl she knew recently *

will you catch her when she falls ;

Gah! Got a tummy run today and its good cause it clears my system. I'm amazed with myself for i slept at 7am this morning and i woke up at like 12 in the noon? My system is screwed always waking up early when i aint working and always unable to wake up when i had to work. God knows why.

Recently been craving for japanese food and i'm a sucker for sushi(s) and sashimi. Been eating sushi(s) recently and mum bought me my favourite, i don't know the name but its salmon with rice & little chilli padi. Total YUMS ! Buy me that and i'm all smiles..

I so wana cut my hair but decided not to because of certain people but i guess it won't be for long as i cant resist visiting the saloon. Anyway luckily i'm being reminded that new year is coming in 2 weeks time and i've yet to start my new year spree. So much so for being busy with work that i lost touch with the days and months and the life i have.

Working mid-shift this week and its busy as ever. Went out with my colleagues last night; a last minute outing. Ended work late yesterday and only reached home at 11pm with me having to bathe and rush like a crazy woman as i'm meeting the girls at 1145pm and as usual i'm late. Headed to MOS and partied with Chyna, Julie, Abbie, Nanami & Hayami san, definately a fun time out with them. I'm just so glad that i did went out with them last night as i was hesitating whether to go for i was kinda tired at least i get to ease the troubles and stress within me.

I havent been myself and i can no longer smile the way i used to because somehow or rather i aint as happy & cheerful as before. I can no longer control my emotions and handle it well. There's just way too many thing within me and its bugging me, stressing me out. I wish i could just let it all out but nobody could ever understand how i feel and the things i have to face. Its just way too much, i'm getting tired. I wouldnt be amazed should there be a day i fall into depression again since i experienced it once and seriously i wouldnt mind being warded into a mental hosipital cause i rather be a crazy person being unaware of the surroundings around me. Even thou mental people have got a shadow in them but they aint troubled but happy. My life's no where perfect yet it seemed as thou it was painted perfect. I'm just like a walking doll leading a life that isnt mine yet it belongs to me.. Can i ever lead a life that is mine and belongs to me?

TGIF & a great weekend my dear readers

will you catch her when she falls ;

* emotions isnt something that can be described but felt within..*

Oh yay people i finally have my weekend off which i hardly ever get. Can you feel the smiles in me? I'm supposed to be spring cleaning for the coming CNY but i just got this i-cannot-be-bothered-to-clean-and-move mood right now. LOL! Okay so what if i'm being lazy but i just cant help it. Eversince i started working i just cant be bothered with any other stuffs that has to do with cleaning and i know i shouldnt make that as an excuse therefore and perhaps i'm gona clean my room next week. Who cares about CNY anyway, i'm not even looking forward to it and the mood for it. Things aint gona be the same it used to be and i miss my dearest grandmother. It'll be my first new year not having her and forever will be. Daddy's so looking forward to penang and i've no choice but to go when i just cannot be bothered because i cannot stand my relatives there.

Ended work late on friday because it was my first time closing my cashier with cash. Finally gotten my cash float and its so troublesome i tell you. I'm so bad at counting especially dealing with money; all these shit gona make me go crazy. Took a cab down to cine in the night because my last train had left and met up with Glenda and Shiying. Headed to Swensen's and we slacked there till late with many things to talk about. Wanted to head over to Alley's bar for a drink but a changed of plan and headed to Glenda's place. Watched dvd and drank baileys as well as chivas.

Was so freaking tired by then because i was awake since 5 in the morning and my face was red like a blusher; definately an enjoyable time spent with the girls and knocked out at 5am. Thanks daddy & mummy for fetching me home in the morning.

Family day on Saturday; i was a total knock out zombie and slept from 12 all the way till 7 when mummy woke me up as daddy's bringing the whole family out for a treat of seafood together with brother's gf. Daddy ordered seafood soup, kailan, long bean, oysters, 2 big black pepper & a chilli crab together with mantou(s). Didnt really eat much and i only ate a spincer as i was too tired and not much of appetite. Daddy was like saying i was so quiet the entire night not even talking. I seriously think i need my 8 hours and more of sleep every day otherwise i'll just be a total zombie and a day would be wasted just by being concussed.

Gona head out later and do some shopping. I so wana cut my hair and i'm gona cut it as its so untidy not bothering the fact that mummy aint letting me cut my hair; stupid fringe of mine so irritating me. My bill's here and i gotta pay mummy my damages that i spent; thank god pay day's coming real soon (=

Ending off with a mixed kinda feeling that surrounds her;
if only you could tell me why is this so..

will you catch her when she falls ;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA !
Turning 22 and getting wiser ;
with loadsa love from me & the CK family (=

Its back to work and after months of working i finally get to work in the morning instead of afternoon and i love morning shift because its not as hectic cum crazy plus i get to go home early instead of doing extra hours. YAY! (= Just had my off days and i simply love being away from work(like who doesnt?) because its stress free. Work has definately made my stress level zoomed up to 1oo% and above. Everyday seems like a peak period and i hate it; its just plain C R A Z Y ! Gona apply for a week(s) leave soon and i hope my boss approves it plus i'm gona take a day mc. Not that i gek it, but its for real. Gotta go for my check up again and might stay in for a day as doctor wants to do more tests which is bad as the bill's gona cost an enormous bomb for my parents and i hate doing test; make me feel weak and sick =/

Went out with daddy to VivoCity for some shopping on Thursday (= simply love spending time with him. Headed off in the evening to bugis and met up with Helda, Hayami and Sharilyn. Had steamboat and was freaking full. Felt like puking after that; think my system's screwed as i have the urge to puke after every meals. Was a fun time out with my colleagues.

Met up with chuen wei in the night and went to Thomson's Liquid Kitchen. Drank a cocktail that tasted like chocolate milkshake. Lol! Anyway, thanks c.wei for the treat and it was definately a nice time catching up with you after a few months.

As it was our CK's Amelia's birthday celebration yesterday and due to work i couldnt make it therefore decided to make it up by meeting her for lunch on friday. Met up with the 2 CK ladies together with Adrian and had Sakae Sushi for lunch. Ate a chawamushi and a main dish *i forgot the name* Simply love japanese food; my favourite and it will definately make my day (= Anyway sorry ladies for being late as i totally overslept; thank god for the missed calls =D

Can someone please enlighten me why do the days zoom pass so freaking fast? I can't imagine that in a months time it'll be CNY and i'll most probably be out of town. Plus the next thing i know, its gona be half a month being a workaholic. That isnt the main point but the fact that in another 2 more months i'm turning 22. Can i not have that to happen? Makes me feel old and yes i'm getting older but thank god i'm blessed with a baby face. I shall sleep early and cut down on my late nights plus stupid work is causing me eye bags. Don't wana think of anything else and shall take everything one step at a time.

Aights i shall end off now and before i finally do that, one last thing to add on. People who came across my last entry's paragraph might think that its too much to post such a thing but do you think i care? When things have gone beyond limit, it'll be beyond my limits of what i'll do. It isnt my thing to do such stuffs but when things have become terrible, don't blame me for being mean. I have my limit and patience; don't test me because i can do tons of things people can never expect me to do. I can be nice but don't take it for granted; don't do things that irks me off and when i'm pissed off, thats it.

Bye all. Its Monday ~~blues~~ tomorrow.

*that unpredictable feelings in her..*

will you catch her when she falls ;

Yea yea i know i'm days late but who cares..

HAPPY 2oo7 my dear readers;

with loadsa love from me (=

Now where shall i start off with. Perhaps a happy start because its the starting of a brand new year before ending my post with the past of 2oo6.

Guess what people; I'm feeling happy because i lost 3.5kg. I don't know how i manage to lose the weight but i shall continue to do so because I SO WANA LOSE 10KG and it shall be my no1 resolution of 2oo7. LOL! and yes my p-plate's gone for good since the start of 'o7 (=

Was suppose to head to sentosa with my parents today but i came home late in the wee morning and woke up in the noon therefore the entire trip was cancelled. Brother's friends came over to our place for MJ session which is why i'm able to post this entry. P.S -don't read if you don't like the things i post.

My off day was a fruitful one yesterday because i had uber fun (= Headed to town in the noon meeting the 2 CK ladies during their lunch break and i did threading. My brows are like so untidy and its time to neaten it. Later on met up with the guys in the evening; an outing with 2 guys and me being the only girl. Headed to Carls Junior and had 2 pieces of wedges because i had not much of an appetite. Caught 'Confessions of Pain' at GV VivioCity and it was a dumb show; almost fell asleep and sorrryy for choosing such a dull movie. Overall a rating of 2.6/5. I know this sounds stupid but the reason i caught that movie was because Takeshi Kaneshiro was acting in it; my favourite actor. LOL! Thanks mister wong for lending me your jacket; it kept me warm and cozy throughout (= Headed home after the movie to find my ic because its horrible to be like an immigrant with no ID on me as i lost my driving licence. Took the car and drove to glenda's place before picking shiying up at suntec and headed to zouk in the night meeting up with 2 of ying's gf. Only had a baileys and one stupid fruit punch as i was driving. R&B rocks later part of the night. The funny thing was this guy approached me asking if he could dance with me and before he knew it the music stopped and lights on which means party's over and his face was filled with embarrassment! LOL! OPPS! Phheeww thanks to the dj who totally saved me. Saw Mr Toa Payoh and we went to river valley for supper. And you know what people after 2.5 freaking long years i finally ate one piece of ROTI PRATA. Felt like puking after that as my body aint used to eating flour with LOADS of OIL. Uber fattening and disgusting! Gotta go on ultra dieting. Sent Glenda, Mr TPY and 1 of his friend back and reached home at 615am. Was freaking tired and finally knocked out at 73o.

You know what i simply love working during Public Holiday(s) especially Christmas and New Year's Eve because everyone's in a oh-so-happy-mood (= I got to see the new year's eve countdown fireworks before meeting up with glenda, shiying and vivien at MOS after my work to celebrate the starting of 2oo7. Seriously i cannot stand that place as its filled with all the milo or charcoal coloured people and everyone's just pushing and being so aggressive. And yeah thanks to vivi i got an MOS ice cube with the red light blinking =D Thanks glenda sweets for the ride home and i was super tired by then and to think that i gotta wake up early and head to work at 12.

Yup so this is it, the beginning of a start of 2oo7. Whatever lies ahead nobody knows and i must say it'd gona be another different and interesting journey to begin with for 2oo7.

I must say 2oo6 was a year filled with loads of memories, be it with smiles, tears, frowns or anger and it was definately a journey that had made me learnt and grow. I gained the knowledge and meaning of life and on the other hand lost precious ones in my life. 2oo6 was a year whereby i turned 21 which is the start of adulthood, lost a friend as well as my precious grandmother in my heart, completed my studies, started working and earning my own hard earned money, and last but not least lost a friendship that caught me by surprised. And of course i've changed, physically and mentally.

As you know people i've got STM therefore i'm just gona blurt whatever i remembered of what occurred the last year of the month.

I don't know when it was but we headed to phuture. It wasnt a pleasant clubbing night because my toes got stepped many times by different clumsy people and the worst and sad thing was...

I LOST MY DRIVING LICENCE !

Now how great is that? And i had to lie to my parents on how i lose it and where it went missing =(

My christmas wasnt a good one because i fell really sick. Had a horrible throbbing migrane that i had to take mc and be away from work. While everyone's celebrating the joy of the season i spent my time sleeping and recuperating because the stupid doctor was so stingy with mc that he only gave me one day away from work. Blahhh! Anyway, thanks brother and cheryl for the hp chain with my initial on it; simply love it to the max, thanks sweets for the shirt and of course thanks mummy for the last minute surprised thailand trip for my christmas present (= Mummy had to go thailand for 2 days for her work and she bought me a SQ ticket to bring me along as accommodation has been paid by her office. Didn't get to do much as it was way too short; did some quick shopping and i went inside of the Embassy of Singapore in Thailand and explored the whole place.

Last but not least..

This is for someone whom was once close to me but not anymore because she proved to me that the friendship we used to have does not mean anything to her.

I never knew friendship can be so breakable and and that my friendship to people doesnt even mean anything but a piece of shit that can be broken anytime they wish too silently and you being in the dark not knowing anything but having to find out yourself. It'll be a reminder for me to judge every single person whom i encounter from now onwards. You chose that path therefore its between you and glenda not me. So what if i am close to glenda but that doesnt mean i just break and let go of a friendship that was formed. FYI i'm not one who doesnt cherish my friendship because i do treasure them. Thanks for letting me know and showing me how important one friendship values because it shows to me that it means so little to you. Since you chose to break it i'll let it be and not be bothered about it. You decided to be this way so don't go around telling people another different thing.

[ 2511o5 ]

Thanks for the memories and all these has become a past and no longer shall it be a present.

will you catch her when she falls ;