when the mind feels uncertained, the heart seemed unclear

its a screwed up day`

din intend to blog in the first place...
but i just couldnt seem to focus
W H Y ?
my brain practically screwed me up
dammitt
oh mann!!
whats happeningggg *arghhs*
tried concentrating to study for p.o.c test
but it failed to do so
my brains been lacking of slp dese days
aint functioning & it blady wants to slp
but i can't go to slp yet. i need to study!!!
fcuking brains.. dun die on me noww.
dahh wadever`
since it aint gona be productive..
shall not deprive my brains & go to bed
aint wasting my time staring into spaces
fcuk it shit it screw it !
shall be back to blog in details when i'm free

will you catch her when she falls ;

lazy me

its a boring sunday` nbr like sundays since young & i duno why. haha. feeling lazy today. aint going anywhere just staying at home to rotx & do my english project. gotta present it on wed. blady fast!! next we'r having poc test on thurs. arghhs` shit it! gona wrk after sch at i tink mount faber or sumthing on fri.. some ushering stuffs. gona predict its gona be a busy week again. boring` oh yay~ dd is coming home tml. haha. miss him loads. just received a sms frm him telling my mummy dat he's seating 3ometres near the pope. haha. lucky dd! oh shit i tink the whole of next wk poc + quality service will be taken over by accounts. gona be blady boring & making me confuse with a big ? above my head. fcuk it`oppps. :x
went shopping with my darling cuzzie yday. haha. was late again. soo sorryy ling to have kept u waiting :x saw a few mates. bumped into amelia & her bf as well as cecilia & her mum & my pri sch fren rachel. had a great time with ling but too bad dere aint enuff time to do more shopping. nbr mnd shall hab another session the week after next. hahs. bought some tops & a set of brassarie frm beedees. lolls. its pink & moreee pink except for one black top. oh boyy ling i tink we must hab spent loads of time in the shop & fitting room.. lolls. no wonder we had no time to go other places. haha! hmms. just realised my cupboard's pretty pathetic with only pink, black & white colours. ah well cant be bothered. wait till i shift into my new home i might revamp my whole cupboard. lolls. tink my mummy will freak out coz she's been complaining of me having too many clothes but i just cudnt find any// perhaps i'm being lazy to dig dat explains me wearing the same stuff. haha. cant blame me coz i'm always late + rushing for time & when i'm rushing i'll always take the ones i see. lolls. blleahhs ;P

will you catch her when she falls ;

here comes the wkends..

i'm back. been 2 days since i last blog` no big deal. haha. oh well the wkends are here & hopefully i'll be able to rest as there are loads of work to do. freaking slpy today due to slping late last night. thou it was a last min mugging but i cudnt absorb a thing. my brain was wandering else where & not focusing. damn. haha. wadever. anyway banquet test was alright but for no apparent reason my entire brain just freaked out leaving me to struggle on an empty shell. perhaps i was too nervous. haben had test / exams for the past 3mths? hahs. stayed back after sch till 6 to discuss our eng project wed. was raining. luckily i've got my pinky brolly with me. lolls. shared it with ad. haha. darn funny. been 6days & i miiss my dd. he's still in oversea wrking. pretty tiring i guess. he's suppose to be home on sun but its been delayed to monday coz his boss wana go to rome & vist the new pope. aint he lucky? haha. hms. bumped into ang kong on the train yday. my "bro"(who is currently mia) fren. call him ang kong(tattoo) coz his whole hand & body is tattooed. he looked matured or issit over matured? lolls. took a glance but din call him as aint sure if i saw the right person. wherelse he blady idiot recognise me & kept staring at me but didnt call me till amk. after c.wei & abijah got down & when his fren came. stupid guy. haha. he called my name & we talked across as we were seating opp each other. which means ppl can hear our conversation. (-.- ) but not bad eh` been so long yet he still can recognise me. as for me i aint sure if it was him. haha. bllahh` was darn comical when i saw him. beh tahan! haha ;P

took a shot of ad taking a quick winkie today. lolls :x
hopefully he doesnt see dis or i'll be dead

[[..21o4o5..]] - went to sch as usual with a sleepy mode due to sleeping late. haben had a gd rest recently. was busy researching for english project. pphewws. tankiex g0d my bro came home & that he cud sent me to sch otherwise i'll have difficulty waking up early. lolls! had boring lessons of p.o.c, bq ops & accounts!! ggrr. cant blady stand accounts` dread cum hate it loads. dun understand a single shit of it & have clueless idea on wad is she teaching. freaking bad! no one's paying attention to her today. tink she cant stand it & gave up on us hence letting us off early. lolls. :x ohh btw.. i passed my basic theory~ too bad guys. haha. passed 1 gotta get done with my prac driving now.

took some shots in class again. haha. ;P

spot the differences? lolls
marmie & dots` llurbbiie her loads!

gleeful look of ad when he sees any babes in sch

lolls. funny shot of harris!
he was initially looking at the cam but dian mei called him` dat explains the direction of his eyeball~ haha.

hmm. is dat tim meditating? lolls!
why on earth did i capture dis?
guess its kinda funny dats why. haha
alrights. i'm a lil mean :x

will you catch her when she falls ;

i hate to endure painss!!

alrights. uploaded pics that was taken today. lolls. opps. sorry glen somehow or rather i acc took some of ur side view without realising it :x anyways. aint gona blog much. i'm kinda suffering right now. having a terrible pain in my mouth. the upper inner side of my mouth right above my tongue` grew a lump as well as ulcer. fcuking pain & the lump is swelling badly. arghx` aint no idea how did it appear. damn. felt as thou i'm having fever too. maybe its a sign dat i'm falling sick again. ggrr. *siighs* due to its painfulness its leading me to have a headache as well as loss of appetite. thou i had no appetite but i've to force myself to bear the pain as i only had fruits & nutrisoy for lunch. juz had campbell soup & a slice of bread for dinner. something to feel my tummy. yups. shall stop for now. doubt i'll be blogging the following days` gona be busy. nites all !

will you catch her when she falls ;

[[+19o4o5-snappie shot+]]

took dis while mr tan's in class. lolls. tankiex to c.wei. was playing ard with fad's spec!! and yes i look darn geeky & sick with fad's spec. laugh for all u wan but i do look intellectual eh. LOLS! *pukes* tankie g0d my spec aint plastic.

indira with fad's spec` aint she cute. hehe. hopefully she doesnt see dis otherwise she'll K*** me!! lolls. oops. hmms. ohh behind indira is baby niece & apple dottie. haha.

now thats what i call natural shot.
adrian's concentration power of taking down notes. lolls.

dian mei with adrian's spec. lolls. she sure look funny!

the natural caption without her realising it. lolls.
aint it so natural? cutie lin xin`rene side view
*eerrrhheemmms* eerrhheemms * lolls.

will you catch her when she falls ;

oopps.

presenting .. ms j. lai

the most ""superb"" tutor for accounts. hahahs :x
okay i'm kinda mean. but shall not comment much

will you catch her when she falls ;

[[-17o4o5`snap shot-]]

took dis pic during my dance practice.
**lliinnng. look at the extreme left.
the girl in red. aint she familiar?? lollls.
+ right click if u wan a bigger image

will you catch her when she falls ;

part time anyone?

oops. forgot to post this
anyone desperately finding for part time job? my fren is looking for part timers. msg me if ur interested. by the way, the hotel she's referring to is S'pore Marriott. i suggest u think thrice. lolls.

Message extract from friendster's bulletin board:
From : Geraldine
Date : Sunday, April 17, 2005 15:37:00
Subject : wana work part time?
Message:
Is there anyone interested in working part-time for a hotel?
Need a commitment of at least 5 working days a week
and till the end of May.
Incentive available.

will you catch her when she falls ;

i dun see the blues today

i'm back. haha. got loads to blurt out thou its only a day not blogging

its monday. can't stand mondays. freaking boring but surprisingly i dun hab the monday blues in me. haha. mr tan didnt come today so there aint cost control or was it banquet? aint no idea coz i tot i saw ad having is BQ manual. whatever.. haha. had acoounts & communication. freaking boring. can't stand accounts. am totally clueless what it is abt. oh boy` *sighhs* duno if i can make it thru this sem. shall not pin high hopes on scoring well. no choice but to really lower my expectation. whatever it is hopefully i dun give up hope on myself.
hmm. had a really weird & strangiest dream last night. i doubt it has any significance or signs. maybe its hinting to me not to travel by air for the mean time? but urm, seriously its total crap. haha. aint no idea why am i always having such weird dreams but at least its better den nightmare. tankiex g0d i didnt have any nightmare before. did i mention dat dere was once i dreamt sumone stabbed me with a knife? now is dat a nightmare or juz a normal dream? lolls. i guess if i really did had a nightmare my bro will prob suffer coz i wud be screaming out loud. once i overheard him telling my mum dat i'm always sleep talking. shall not comment much abt dat. lolls :x RIGHT LING? muahah. still remember the last few times when i stayed over at ur place. boyy` so darn embarressed. i must have scared crystal & she might tink i've gone nuts. haha. well.. here it goes. i dun really noe wad happened in the beginning coz everything was so messy. i cud only recalled dat i was in the plane & the plane crashed onto the rooftop of the building & the plane was about to fall off it? haiyah. duno how to explain. maybe if i've got the time i'll draw it out den scan otherwise u can ask me. but the most funny thing was i dreamt that the korean minister or sum big shot caame to the disasterious site. okay. now what the heck? when i woke up my brain was lyk huh why on earth did i dream of such weird stuff & a big ? mark above me. i dun even noe who the hell is the minister of korea & why on earth do i dream of korea? i'm so weird. gosh. thou dreams aint suppose to be reality but to me dreams are my reality. haha. coz i'm always in a world of my own shutting off everything in me. haha. okay dreams are lyk its a form of illusion to make u feel funny abt what u dream of so dat u can laugh out loud. hahaha. okay thats lame & i duno wad the heck am i blabbering abt (-.-" )
whats with people who smoke? especially guys. just bcoz u tink u smoke & holds a cigarette makes u tink u look cool or stylo & tink ur so great? yucks. can't stand ppl who have such childish mentality. frankly speaking i dun have a problem nor am i against ppl who smoke. but pls do it in a gracious way. urm how shall i explain it? whatever i shall cut the explaination coz i'm sucky at explaining. haha. was going to sch this morning & there was this malay guy in front of me. he was practically holding his cigarette for 1omins & not taking a puff out of it. his cigarette was lyk getting shorter. cmon if u want to hold the cigarette just to look cool i suggest u better not do it. for heaven sake that wud prob make u a big L on ur forehead` which means loser. not only that ur wasting ur money + cigarette & pls alrights dun pollute the air early in the morning & causing others to be a passive smoker? gggrr. can't stand such ppl. i was like trying to walk darn fast to overtake him coz i dun wana inhale the smell in the morning. glared at that guy for a sec. a malay guy wearing a huge sunglass. the kind for beach wear or for sporty ppl or surfers? forgot the brand name. but anyway that guy is indeed one big 'L'. haha. common if he tinks he wana act cool to make girls attracted to him, he can blady save his time & forget it. coz really CMI. final conclusion` guys sucks.

_x`clown`x_:: lolls. soorrryy can't go petals with u today coz i gotta accompany my mummy to oversee stuffs. haha. shall go out with u another time okay? urm maybe not dis month as i'm really busy. prob next month or wad k. remember i'm the master of all clowns & that makes me ur highness so u have to obey me. lollllls. blleahhs ;p

will you catch her when she falls ;

tinyneedlespokingthrumyhead

ggreatt.. i'm having an awful headache right now. can feel the sharp pain as well as the radiation inside my head. arghx! the feeling is horrible! guess my eyes are kinda cock & darn tired too. been using the com for darn long dese days due to searching for information abt our banquet porject. :( guess i shall not use the com tml & prob the day after. need a complete rest. it wasnt till today dat the pain got worst. guess its due to surfing the net the whole morning. tankie g0d i've found a few resourceful website. haha. waiting for my mum to help me print it out when she goes to wrk on mon. feeling so helpless coz my bro took the printer to his campus. so wads the use of having a com when u've no printer? haha. piece of shit`

went cineleisure in the afternoon to meet adrian. discussed abt our project. covered a little on the menu & demand generator. haha. gotta have loads of inspiration + creativity to do this damn wedding planner. but i've yet gotten my inspiration. ggrr. nbr mnd i believe i'll get it soon. yups. was cracking our brains on the food item we want in our menu. almost all the menus we collected from the hotels are some what similar. haha. everywhere is having shark fin's` kinda dull eh. can't they save the sharks? so mean. haha. later on we came out with buddha jump over the wall.. blah blah blah.. all the expensive items. lolls. tink the menu will cost a freaking hell bomb. so funny. discussed till 5+ coz ad gotta go to rosette to help out the service. alrights. its more work to do tonight & tml. gotta touch up on the menu items + our english project *sighhs* my dd's going oversea tonight. aint gona see him for the following week. boyy am i gona miss him.

[[-Ling-]]:x: do u hab practice tml? haha. my practice end at 1245. what time u wana meet? sms me the time & everything k..den i'll confirm with u :) haha. can't waitttt to see u *muahhs*

will you catch her when she falls ;

butterfly jitters ?

its finally friday.. which means the wkends are here but dere wun be time for me to slack. instead i'll be doing more research & busy with projects. hardworking? nahh. aint no choice. right now we've got 4 projects under our sleeves. boo. it isnt as easy as u think. just dun understand why does our darn sch keeps giving us damn projects. wadever. i believe in no time everything will be done & our hardwork will be paid off. arghx! mr tan said next friday we'll be having Banquet Ops test. fcuk. dun lyk tests & exams. hahs. who does? perhaps geeks & nerds? i tink i'll be dieing by den coz i've not been paying attention & i'll blady mug again. perhaps not? see how first must depend on my mood. but i tink i gotta wrk dbl hard this sem i dun wan another disappointment again. *sighhs*

alrights. as i said today's my basic theory test. pls dun ask me how i fare coz i seriously duno. due to the sudden drop of confidence in myself. okay i admit my confidence level is only 5o% & not 1oo% (i'm still learning to improve myself). but today it dropped to 25%. pretty bad eh` yeah i noe. kinda disappointed with myself for feeling this way. *siighss* am having butterflies in me thou the paper ain't difficult. was feeling very nervous while doing & after the test plus the environment in the room didnt help at all but make it worst. why? coz it was freaking cold even when i had my jacket on. ggrr. besides my freaking guy mates in class were lyk saying 'hopefully u fail ur test` den u cnt drive coz u'll be a lousy driver' fcuk man. wads their prob? i drive got their blady business not. dun hab to say me till lyk dat. arghx! why are guys such a jerks? really cant stand guys dese days. making me more pissed off. yeah i noe dun be affected by wad dey say` as long as i've got faith in me but the thing is i'm afraid later one of their mouth really vv suay den really kana. *prays to god*

yeah. my cousin smsed me today asking if my lesson were to end early today so dat we cud do a lil shopping. i really want to meet up with her to shop but couldnt do so coz i had to go for my basic test today. dats sad. oh well just have to wait till sunday after my dance practice. *sighhs* den dian 'mei' was asking if i wud like to go to 'carnival' at chijmes tonight` but i dun hab the mood to club so i decided not to go with dem [sorry mei` shall go with u another time k]. anyway my sec mate is having her bbq this evening & asked me to go but i decided to head home. thou most of my sec mates will be dere but i juz cant be bothered coz i'm pretty kind of sick & tired with their behaviour except for some. i just want to run away from the past & dun wish to be reminded of it. she called during mr ong's lesson asking if i will be going & the way she talked to me was one hell kinda stupid attitude`which was totally different frm the past? urm common i didnt do u any wrong why do u hab to give me such an awful attitude? no matter what i'm still a human with feelings, u dun hab to treat me lyk dat thou at times i can be a bitch if i want to. at least talk to me in a nice manner & not the xialan kind. i'm not the kind of person whom u can just throw ur freaking attitude coz if u blady do dat i'll do the same back to u. as in 1 for 1 & i gave her back the same attitude. arghx. freaking waste my time talking to her.

if u've time for to read some drama conversation just scroll down later. gona expose this shitty conversation of mine with hers. okay i noe i'm kinda mean & being a bitch by doing dis but i'm like dat. if u are nice to me i'll be doublely nice to u otherwise scram coz i dun lyk ppl taking me for granted.

Ring Ring - unknown number - nbr mnd i answer
[`Me`] .. hello
[`her`] .. eh u going later ?
- i was lyk tinking who the hell is dat on the line not even having the courtsey to say hi den i realised it was her
[`me`] .. where issit? dun tink so
- isnt it funny. fancy asking ppl to go but u din even tell dem a proper info.
[`her`] .. pasir ris. why not going. go lah. most of dem will be dere
[`me`] .. dun wan. later got to go for my b.test den end vv late. tired
[`her`] .. aiyah juz go la. where is ur test?
[`me`] .. amk
[`her`] .. u crazy go so far for wad
(-.-") i go amk take driving her prob issit
[`me`] .. i stay tpy wad.
[`her`] .. u where got stay tpy. aiyah go afterthat la
[`me`] .. wad i'm staying at tpy wad. dun wan by the time i go so late
[`her`] .. go la. y.q wanted to come but she scared to come coz ur going den she dun dare see ur
-oh i'm so glad dat stupid bitch finally scared & afraid to show her face after wad she had fcuking done to me.
[`me`] .. she will scared meh. she want to go go la. not my prob wad. i also dun wan to see her besides i aint going
[`her`] .. aiyah so long already just let go la i also tell her dat. just go la. everyone want to see u. den u mia-ed to duno where. now ask u come u dun wan. dey all want throw cake at u & i also want to throw cake at u.
- yah easy for u to say coz u aint me & u didnt go thru all the horrible fcuking things. thou i dun hate her & forgave her coutless of times but i dun wana see her ever again` she better scram frm my sight. she dun deserve my attention. no matter how much sorry she say to me also no use. coz it'll nbr be perfect if a wound has incurred.
[`me`] .. throw cake at me for wad? crazy. want to throw also throw at u wad. wad mia? i busy with my stuffs of coz not free right den u also attached wad. where got time
[`her`] .. we want throw cake coz ur bday. if u cum we throw cake at u if u dun cum i go ur house find u & throw at u. aiyah u dun bluff la. wad busy. busy changing boyfriends only
- pls la. my bday over how long already. still so childish throw cake. gdness. WTF. now wads her damn prob. i explain to her she cum anyhow say me as thou i some cheap skate. pls okay look who is the one. dun come & fcuking say me when ur the one. i'm not like u. i dun simply just be attached just lyk dat
[`me`] .. wad la. where got. wad always change bf? dun hab la i say i busy with my stuff right
[`her`] .. yeah right dun bluff la.
- okay shall fcuking cut short some of our conversation. now this is the best part` damn shitty
[`her`] .. i end school this march already now working
[`me`] .. so fast end huh. where u wrking
[` her`] .. yah la den next year meh. at takashimaya.
[` me`] .. where which part of taka? do what?
[`her`] .. inside taka la still got where. assist ppl
[`me`] .. do what la
[`her`] .. i'm the director of taka. i inside direct ppl.
*pukes* pls leh wad kinda bull shit is dat? not lame at all sia. she wana bluff say a better one la. director of taka? oh pls. i maybe a dumb ass but i wun be fooled so easily
[`me`] .. sacastic tone. oh pls dun bluff la u director of taka
[`her`] .. really i'm the director of taka u dun believe u ask the ppl ard la
*rolls my eyeball*
[`me`] .. pls la if u director i'm executive already. dun cum and bullshit ah
[`her`] .. i really director what. tell u u dun believe. u jealous i'm the director say so la coz i'm better & cleverer den u wad
*roll my eyeball again* aiyah. fcuk u la. dun cum giimme shit. jealous of u for wad? if u tink by saying dese shit makes u better so be it. and if u tink u can manupulate me` shit u. i'm no longer the same person u noe in the past. if u tink ur better & cleverer den me so be it. shall not argue much. shall not enclose the dirty linens in public. haha. now wad am i talking abt? nbr mnd. idiot. call me just to talk some shit, well i dun hab time to listen to ur stupid craps. disturbance & wasting my time talking to her so i decided to end my conversation with her.

oh boy. i tink nowadays i'm getting more & more anti-social & mean. just isnt the normal me. what the hell is happening? now is that a good thing? oh well wadever. cant think for now. nites all.

will you catch her when she falls ;

infected with an incurable bug called laziness

ahh greatt. was supposed to go for my theory this morning but i overslept. shit :x i guess i shall do my own reading for tml's test. hopefully it wun be so difficult but u noe a dumbass lyk me can make tons of silly careless mistakes? ah well. hopefully i'll pass it & g0d will bless me. shall go and pray for wisdom later. alrights i noe i shudnt be seeking for god's help when i need help but i promise i;ll be gd. i'll pray every now & den okay. my hp has been ringing all morning & its a disturbance to my slp. ggrrx!! had 6 missed call & afew smses. why can't i slp peacefully? dahh` shall switch to silent mode. got awoken by adrian. he called to apologised for his awful behaviour. lolls. darn funny! i'm lyk still half alsp when he was asking for forgiveness. haha. guess he must have felt so darn guilty abt it. poor him. okay adrian ur forgiven :) haha. i tink ppl who pissed me off always gets off the hook coz i'm always forgiving dem easily? unless its sumthing serious den u'll be condemed for life. i'm feeling very lazy today. just feel like nua-ing all day. guess i'll just stay at home. dun have the mood to go out. aint no idea why. used to dread staying at home but now as i grew its totally different. weird eh` initially we're supposed to meet up to discuss abt our project but indira said to discuss tml during our break. i guess i shall spend the time reading up on the english assignment as of how to go abt & revise my basic theory :) gona meet my parents in the evening as well as our designer. going ikea to check out some of the furnitures & to finalize on our house. haha. i'm not telling u wad colour will i be painting. :x oh yah went to check out my house last night. the L-box is up as well as the wirings. the next thing will be our floor tiles. just can't wait. my aunt will be shifting into her new home this weekend. boy are they so lucky. haha

will you catch her when she falls ;

where the hell is my bug?

feeling kinda emotionless these days.
aint no idea why.
and no.. i'm not having pms.

what the hell is happening to guys these days? they are either getting psycotic or irritating or getting worse. can't stand them. guys sucks. jerks jerks jerks!!! wish dey could just freak off. besides i dun need them in my life. dun intend to get married anyway. boo. oh to make things clear even thou i show or have no interest in guys it doesnt mean i'm a lesbian coz i aint one. i'm straight. very straight & not any curly wurly.

great i just made a wasted trip. arghx. went for my trial test after sch & i just realised i went on a wrong day. instead of going yday i went today. damn. i'm such an ass. tink my memory is detoriating & thats bad-real bad!! dahh` didnt tell my dd abt it coz he'll freak out for sure. haha. okay my basic theory test is due on this friday. haben touch up on it yet. guess i better run thru my notes otherwise i'll die coz my brain aint functioning well these days. boyy. what the hell is happening to me? arghx.

kinda lethagic today & its definately not a good day at school` kinda sucky. received another group asssignment. english comprehension & our grp topic is abt statistic. aint no idea wad the hell is dat abt. the best thing is we've got very limited time to do our assignment. cant stand this sem. loads of projects!! whats worst my inspiration has wandered away for a blady long time & it aint back yet :( *siighhs*

aint satisfied with my academic results. juz gotten them today. yes its freaking long. tankiex to the blady lagging sch & i can't believe they blady hell lost my transcript. (-.- ) my gpa for semester 1 was shit. real shit. am disappointed & pissed with myself for getting such lousy results. din achieve the grades that i want neither did it meet my expectation. i tink i'm deproving. arghx! okay perhaps when u see my grades u might tink i'm over reacting but truth is it isnt coz to me it sucks to the core`horriblely-terriblely. guess my parents will start their blablabla again. *siighhs*

for the first time ever adrian is giving me a cold shoulder. a very cold one. its like we've no problems at all & now he's acting in such a way? can't believe he actually ignored me the whole day. thats very disappointing. how can he do this to me. i dun give a damn if other ppl treat me this way but he can't do this coz in a way or so he's my wall of pillar in class. urm. duno how to explain why i say that but i've got my reasons. and if ur tinking of something funny u are so god damn wrong. *siighhs* never seen him acting this way before. he's freaking pissed with me & indira due to some lame minor things & i guess he've got some misunderstandings. besides its not on purpose- its by accident & cmon why wud we want to do it delibrately? he shud have known that. anyway if he thinks that he have the right to be angry so be it bcoz indira & i are kinda pissed as well. aint gona disclose much & why. and yes adrian if u happen to read this i'm not trying to do anything bad. both are at fault okay. besides we've already apologised what more do u want? if u think u have the right to be angry shouldnt we be blady pissed with u? but cmon we din treat u the way u did to us today.

will you catch her when she falls ;

failed to overcome the weakling

MATHS DRIVE ME MAD !

DREAD IT LOADS

SUCKS TO THE MAX

GONA GO NUTS!!!

KILL ME PLEASE :)

Final conclusion::
i'm gona give up on dat damn subject.
thats it. no negiotiation.
okay devil u win i surrender. (-.-)

will you catch her when she falls ;

freaking sauna!

damn. wassup with the weather. freaking hot!! its as thou i'm having sauna but actually not. was 36° today. crazy` made me perspire the whole day. arghx! hate dis kinda weather & summore i'm out almost the whole day. hate the freaking sun. was covering my face with my hands when the sun shone on me. yes i did that. laugh for all u want. i dun give a damn coz its me` my life. its to prevent freckles & pigmentation. do u noe by exposing to the uv rays, it can cause loads of harm/danger/damage. u should count urself lucky for reading my my blog as u should be glad that i'm telling u all this stuff. lolls! *yawnx* i'm always falling aslp dese days & i aint no idea why. gosh! went out with my parents after my dance practice. freaking tired. shud hab stayed at home to nua. dey went to duno where followed by courts @ bukit timah. stupid shit!! the air con was spoilt & was freaking hot. went to the tv section as my parents wana noe the models dey hab` while waiting for dem i went to sit on the sofa & looked at the plasma tv urh actually more onto the program. lolls. duno wad nature thingy but was quite interesting.. guess wad? i actually fell aslp. deep aslp till my dd woke me up. lolls. boyy` i really tink i've gotten the slping buggy. duno wad the hell had gotten onto me. sleeping everywhere i go. so horrible! lolls. :x ohh yah. this reminds me. i tink i'm gona save $$ i wana buy my mp3!!! the pinky apple!! so sweet. but urm can anyone tell me the difference between apple ipod & mini ipod coz i'm an idiot to such thing. all i noe ipod was selling for 4oo+ wherelse mini ipod was 3oo+. lolls. oh man. i just cant wait to get my hands on dem. but i'm still thinking whether i shud buy apple or creative muvo coz both also got pink! haha.

apple ipod / creative muvo²fm

if u're freaking bored..
check out this quiz;
http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/1986/youarewhatyoueat.swf
thou its 75% true but kinda lame. haha
the result of my quiz. lolls :x

hmm. cold & selfish? lolls. okie i've no comments. humans are selfish by nature but i'm not to the extreme. cold? yes i'm cold only to certain kind of people whom make me detest them & jerks. perhaps i'm colder towards guys. lolls. opps :x my mummy says i've got an extremely strong character & it aint gd for girls. she says i should try to mellow down but i can't be bothered to do any changes coz one way or another its to protect myself :)

nowadays, it seems that my tears are uncontrollable & i aint no idea why. whenever i try to prevent it frm tearing` it would rebel & just tear. damn. maybe my mind & body cnt tahan anymore coz i've been preventing it frm tearing. so now they are on strike with me. haha. boo. what a lame logic` so far only 3 ppl had seen me tear in sch which isnt a gd thing coz i dun usually let ppl see me cry as i dun lyk dem to see me being depressed. anyway the funniest thing is i tear only when i'm vv stress or angry & not sad. lolls. i noe i'm weird coz ppl usually tear when dey are sad or heartbroken. haha. send me to woodbridge pls. :)

will you catch her when she falls ;

adorableliciously woofy wooff wooff

its the weekend & there's no school. yippee~ even thou dere's no sch but i din get to sleep much coz my dd woke me up` arghx! ask me to accompany them to view the furnitures. haiis. i was so reluctant to open my eyes & get out of bed. slept kinda late last night & i was feeling so comfy on my bed & would like to continue sleeping but i had no choice but to force myself to get outta bed. haiis. could have said no & have more winkies of slp but nbr mnd. i'm wondering when can i actually sleep peacefully cum soundly without disturbance? i'm so poor thing. always unable to get enuff slp. doubt i can wake up late tml as i've got dance practice which means i've to wake up at 8. dahh`

haha. wana noe the best part? followed my parents to urh duno where but its at celini. went to check out our sofa set, blah blah blah.. wasnt really keen on checking out other stuff coz my parents had already confirmed buying the recliner chair which we saw last wk at parkmall. i cudnt be bothered abt the rest coz i've gotten dat chair. furthermore dey woke me up frm my slp & i was feeling rather restless to follow dem ard so i left them alone to see & decide. lolls. i just have to give comments on the items they want or am interested in. as for me i headed to the recliner chair & rest on it coz its really darn comfy.. guess wad? i fell asleep to twinkleland (-.-) slept for 2omins. lolls. opps :x yes i know i'm horrible. haha. but seriously i dun give a damn abt it. so shhhhh ;P

okays i really tink i'm insane. i cant be bothered much abt my new home but more interested to what kinda puppy i could have. lolls :x just can't wait to own one of dem. so adorable~ haha. but of coz i couldnt just own any of dem coz certain breeds aint allowed in hdb. furthermore my mummy says she wudnt want me to get dose with loads of fur! boo. i wish i could own a golden retriever` specially those that are small in size. boyy i tell u dey are freaking god damn cute. but so sad its not allowed in hdb *s0bx* was browsing through the net on what kinda breeds does the hdb allows & not much of fur. thou they aint the type that i want but i guess its kinda cute? or is it not? lolls.

Norwich Terrier VS Jack Russel
okays comments please :)

ohhhh before i forget here's another dog i saw. its on the main page of the web but sad to say they din state the breed of the dog so i've got clueless idea of its breed
but i simply love this dog` so adorableliciously cute! guess its special coz it caught my attention
making me love it loads! so please do me a favour
if anyone of u noes its breed pls lemme noe k :)

awww. aint it cute when its sleeping?
i wish i could own it & hug it right now.
forgive me doggy for not knowing ur breed but i'll own u for sure.. hahaha.
mann... i'm crazy!! hee hee

shit. i'm having a headache right now & my eyes feeling tired. kinda cock eye already. probably due to looking at the damn com for too long. still gotta do my research for our project but at least i managed to find a useful website full of info. haha. haiis. project projects projectttsss!! driving me nuts & freaking irritating~ *yawnx* final conclusion: projects are nbr ending in dat damn sch.. do till siao.

will you catch her when she falls ;

guardian angel where art thou

alrights. after donkey time, i finally managed to upload last month pics! lolls. sorry for the delay coz i had to wait for my bro's laptop in order to transfer all my pics` dats the result of not having my hp cable. *sobs* anyway there's still afew pics left (which was taken in galib's place) but i shall upload it another time. haha ;P so wait patiently again yahs? i've minimised most of the pics. if its too small to see left click to have a larger image k but pls dun be an asshole to steal my pics coz its forbidden thou its accessable` if u want my stupid face just tell me & i'll grant u ur wish.

*yawnx* rather lethagic today. probably due to insufficient slp last night (-.-) duno wads wrong to my tummy. been acting strange the whole day & giving me problem` one moment sharp pain another moment normal the next moment tummy pain. damn` also duno wads happening. *sulks* school is kinda alright. i'm learning to numb myself frm & to everything. right now the only thing i wana do is to concentrate on my studies & projects!!! other things can wait. cnt take it too lightly coz this sem really darn xiong to the max~ besides i still have got my driving & dance practice. can't slack as much as before. *siighhs* had accounts today. dread dat subject. driving me nuts. fcuking confusing` besides i'm blady weak in maths. tink by the end of this sem i can go bald due to pulling my hair off coz of da damn accounts. haha. oh boyy. i really wish a miracle would appear. final conclusion; i need the strength to overcome all this.

will you catch her when she falls ;

[[-28o3o5 ' snappy shottie-]]

||yummy kookiiex||

+llurbbiie my pink watch+

lolls. stupid pose

will you catch her when she falls ;

[[-24o3o5-snappie shotx-]]

piaza's smoke salmon caesar salad & bits of bacon!

__x` at piazza cafe `x__

_x: at k0pii beannie :x_

will you catch her when she falls ;

[[-March ' o5 - snappy shottie-]]

3 different stupid pose` being a lame ass. lolls
to tell u the truth- i snap dis in e bathroom :x
lolls. unbelievable eh. tink i'm crazee! hahas
2nd rows of pic been edited by my itchy hand
if ur too pakjiao` left click for bigger image
if u want my stupid face ask me & i'll give it to u
pls dun be an asshole to steal my pic. tankiex ;)
-everything is u see here is copyright by jaclyn-

will you catch her when she falls ;

am i going insane?

sometimes i wonder what exactly have i done
sometimes i wonder why am i being treated this way.
sometimes i wonder why do i have to incur so much pain.
sometimes i wonder why do i have to shut myself outta reality juz to numb the pain
sometimes i wonder why can't i let my tears flow freely in order to feel better
sometimes i wonder why does a simple thing becomes so complicated?
sometimes i wonder why do we have to go thru so much pain
life is blady screwed when u've to face so many fcuked up situations.
i miss the rainbows i used to have in my beautiful life *sighhs*

aint life suppose to be beautiful? is this call beautiful life? if it is den i tink its meaningless to try so hard and get on with life. its really horrible to be in such situations. why do i have to suffer in pain silently? given a choice i would like to turn back time & have my beautiful rainbows back in my life. :/ yes i do agree it is beautiful to be able to live in this world where u've got challenges & obstacles to overcome but why issit that its causing so much pain & stress so much so dat life began to be so dull? or am i brooding too much dat the stress i have in me is self created & is partially my fault? i doubt so. who on earth who like to make themselves depress? no one does. i've been in depression mode twice & i dun wana make it happen again. coz it sucks badly & aint easy to be happy again. haiis. hopefully things will be better. i'll just have to numb myself again from all dose pains to make myself happy. right now ppl can say anything abt me or create misunderstandings. i dun give a fcuking damn shit anymore. sick & tired of it. dun come to me juz bcoz u need me coz i hate to be being made use of. just fcuk the blady hell off *sighhs* i tink i should shut everything out of my life & be an anti social bitch. oh man i really really dread going to school this sem. why? bcoz everything seems to be so terrible` complicated & difficult. the fcuking subjects are driving me nuts. super chimalogy & hard` i duno whether i'll be able to survive. i duno if i've still got the fighting power in me` i wish i could just give up at this point of time & withdraw from my course but i simply can't. its really tiring to be strong. it really is. when will there be a moment when i can be my true self whereby i'm able to live without worries & dun have to act strong all the time? *sigghhs* it aint easy to be what i am today but its really darn easy to give up hope on myself. hopefully i would able to pass this hurdle. besides i dun just want to pass moderately but to do extremely well. not just for myself but for my parents. the thing is can i make it this sem? i aint no idea. maybe i should start seeking wisdom frm g0d. *sobs* ...

fcuk. tink i'm falling sick soon. maybe its due to being half drenched in the rain juz now even thou i had an umbrella. shared my brolly with adrian. was funny thou & we kept laughing juz now. at least it managed to ease off some of my pain in me. i'm really glad dat i still have adrian to be dere for me as well as indira & afew more. guess i'll be at loss without dem. final conclusion` its a bad year for me this year. rooster sux.

will you catch her when she falls ;

school is fcuked up

aint having a great day at sch. everything seems so screwed. fcuked up. duno why. day by day i'm juz dragging myself & forcing myself to do well just to make my parents happy. i'm juz wondering how on earth did i tahan for so long to be in dis damn sch. haiis. projects projects & more projectsss!!! hate it to the max. driving me nuts` haiis. alrights; shall cut my story short. not in the mood to digrest everything. i just feel sick of everything. its like everything seems to be crumbling down & i've enough of this shit. really cant take it anymore. haiis. really piising me off` at that point of time i felt like withdrawing frm my course *sighhs* if only i could. i'm so sorry & felt bad for causing my darling frens adrian & indira to worry abt me. ;/ arghx` u noe wad? i hate ACCOUNTS!!! driving me nuts. had no idea wad issit abt? shittified subject & worst its weightage 3. fcuk. gona flunk fail die doom death hell. if only i cud be excused for that subject? perhaps in my dreams. dahh` *sobs*

will you catch her when she falls ;

can i have rainbows in my life?

alrights. its the first day of sch. hmm. feelings? mixie of everything. unable to describe. but i'm really so darn glad / relieved dat my role as a class rep finally ends today. tankie g0d for dat` finally can have a clean break after being a rep for the last 2 sem :) anyways. its kinda weird returning back to sch. not used to it. have to communicate with my brain to switch to study mode. haha. yeah. saw alex at the vending machine. dat guy is really darn funny. i believe he dun even noe i was standing dere till i called him. haha~ and i saw mr clowwwnnn :) haha. seeing his reaction waving the bag outside our class was so darn funny! was laughing inside of me` lolls. opps. :x tankie g0d dere wasnt ctis & managed to leave sch at 43o? lolls but had to rush for my doc appoint at nuh. needless to say; i was late but i aint at fault. at least i tried my best to make it. luckily my dd called juz in time otherwise i would have already flagged for a cab. haiis. yes i decided to take up the treatment ;/ unfortunately dere aint any gd slot dat can suit my timing dat means to say i've to skip class. oh well. wadever. juz cant be bothered. planning to change the time coz i'm trying ways & means to delay the time. haiis. and yes i thought this wud be the last time i've to take another treatment but shit it the doc asked if i wud lyk to consider taking up another treatment which will be beneficial for my health. wtf? haiis. its another treatment for life but for medication wise its gona be injections again. damn. i'm sick of needles. i've been in contact with dose needles since young & have stopped 5 years ago? gimme a break, why can't i be spared? i dun tink i wana go thru dis shit anymore. i'll prob go nuts. haiis. i simply juz wonder wad kinda sins have i committed in my past life to make me go for continuous treatment & suffer frm all dis shit? am i living for the sake of living or am i living for a purpose`

__x:: clown// so sweet of u to buy me the pressie thou its kinda big for my finger. lolls. but anyway tankiex sooo ssooo muchie. *hugs*okays i owe u one alrights. a big wan :)

will you catch her when she falls ;

the return of a geek` yikes!

alrighty! its back to school tml.
back to becoming a geek godness` yikes!!
*laughs out loud*

aint no idea whether its a gd or bad thing. boyy` another semester with boring dull subjects. whats worst? 2 sickening subs` cost control & accounts. which means more mathematics. yucks. dread maths. sucks to the max. hate it loaddds!! arghx`
more calculations = more brain power = more pek cek!!
haha. well what can i say or do? can't possibly ask or beg the damn sch to spare us off maths. just have to accept my fate~ *sobs* -poor me- hahh. wadever. dun give a damn. i've got faith in myself. i'll overcome the demons in me & fight it all off. u sickos demons. stop over ruling my poor brains. u hate maths eh. i'll make sure i'll conquer the damn sub thou it sucks badly for me. boo.

okay. its sunday which is also my family day, where everyone bond & be together. but nope my dd aint at home. he has left for his golf. so most probably i aint going anywhere today except for nuaing at home. maybe not. till my dd is back it will be going my new home to check out as in to finalize everything. yeahh. haha. boyy` my room will be god damn small. but who cares. its my room & i love it. simply bcoz ...
small is good = cosy feeling = less cleaning.
which means to say i dun hab to spend so much ttime cleaning the room. haha.
okay final conclusion` i'm a lazy pigsy.

//-° Adrian °-\\ lolls. u still owe me an outing dude! haha. blleahhs.

][-lingx-][ sponge is getting irritated!! haha. can't wait fo u to end ur exams. shopping?

MOVIES ON THE GO :

SPANGLISH
MS CONGENALITY 2
SPONGEY
blah blah blah ...

any interested viewers pls sms her. haha

will you catch her when she falls ;

...

can't stannddd ittt!!! feeling so irritated. furthermore its a freaking saturday. so boredddd!!! arghx` :/ went for my trial test dis morn. later on when to see furniture sale with my parents followed by meeting up with our contractor at our new home & to select the floor tiles. lastly at my grandma's place. damn. wasted my day juz lyk dat. well its sunday tml which means the last day of my 1wk break. thou i'm having my hols but i aint having a gd rest coz i've been waking up early otherwise feeling sick. *sighhs* the days are passing so darn fast. the next thing i know its back to school :/ tankie g0d i dun hab dance practice tml finally can sleep & rest. hopefully no one disturbs my beauty sleep again. (-.-)

oh my supervisor called juz now.
was surprised to receive her call..haha.
in the end i found out why.. ::our conversation::

[[`mam florence`]] jac ah..can u come & wrk part time tml?
...my brain immediately blank out...
...i was lyk huh? part time? ...
[[`my reply`]] i dun tink i can wrk coz i got "dance practice" tml.
..oh man- i told a mini white lie *sighhs*..
..but she din give chance..
[[`mam flor`]] oh yah u got dance prac on sunday but ur practice the whole day?
...my brain was lyk oh shit..
..luckily i got quick reaction to response..
[[`my reply`]] my "prac" start late morn till afternoon but i got "driving lesson" in the evening
..ggreattt- lied again. felt so bad but u can't expect me to say a direct no to her` oh g0d pls forgive my sins..
[[`mam flor`]] orh u taking driving lessons now ah? not bad` i tried calling indira but she nbr ans. when are u returning back to sch?
...hmm is she hinting me dat she really nids ppl to wrk in the mean time help her contact indira..
[[`my reply`]] my school starts on monday already
[[`mam flor`]] oh okay den nbr mnd. thanks
--- end of conversation---

its almost a wk since we left & she's asking if we cud go back & wrk part time. bet its dose idiot pig arse that are causing shortage of manpower. crazy` fancy asking us to wrk part time. i mean if its in a centralised area i dun mind going back to wrk for dem. besides its $6 per hour for an easy job but cmon dun expect me to travel all the way dere. no way am i gona do dat coz i've been sick of dat for the past 3mths. i aint wasting my time travelling juz to earn $6 per hour.

oh well.. i think i know why am i feeling so irritated

Reasons to be a little grump :

Reason 1 ` had already set alarm to wake me up but was awaken way much earlier by my dd. yes i noe he's afraid i might overslept & will be late for my lesson but cmon gimme a break. cant i sleep longer? arghx` my alarm haben even ring & my slp is already been disturbed. damn. why issit dat the 2 guys in my home simply love to irritate me in the morn by disturbing my slp can't they be lyk my mum. leaving me in peace to let me have my beauty slp? arghx`

Reason 2 ` my dd started nagging in the car. not gona disclose much. haha. arghx` i suspect he's going thru menopause now. but does men go thru menopause too? haha. my conclusion : yes i believe so. humans go thru the same thing except they are different in different areas. haha.

Reason 3 ` went for my trial test. have already booked & was suppose to have 2 slots today but it turned out to be 1. never mind. went to the kiosk to book 2 more slots for next wk. confirmed. went home to check. so pek cek when there wasnt any bookings` i can't book it at home coz i cant blady access it. can't expect me to go all the way down just to book it. will be blady lame. shit it. ggrrrx` nbr mnd shall call the darn centre & ask the receptionist to book it for me. damn. my theory test is cuming in a wks time if i dun revise confirm die. *sighhs*

Reason 4 ` fcuk my freaking screwed health. duno wads happening. eversince dat horrified morn; my body's been feeling vv weird- specially my tummy. feels uncomfy` feel lyk puking after my meal. not much appetite to eat also. body aches everywhere. feels fainty. haiis. greatt have got doc appointment on mon but i've got class till 6+. aint sure if we'll be ending early coz i wun be going for my appointment. have yet decide whether to go for treatment. my parents keep asking me to take the treatment coz it'll be worst if i dun. i guess i noe wad will my decision will be. even if i dun wish to i also have to go for it otherwise i'll suffer from osteophoris known as brittle bone as i grow older & age faster & other more. of coz there will be side effects if i take the treatment but i guess if i dun take the treatment the consequences i've to bear is greater den taking it. *sighhs*

Reason 5 ` damn those mosquitoes. freaking irritating! keep biting me dese days. suck suck suck. bloody suckers. is sucking blood all u can do u blady pest? issit a delicacy to suck my blood dats why ur enjoying it? screw u i'm gona spray baigon tml & kill u idotx. its the cosequences u have to pay for sucking my blood... duno why nowadays got so many insects flying ard. specially honets or duno wad u call. aint no idea where dey cum frm. so darn scared dat they will stink me. eekz. i seriously tink my estate is really darn old` tank g0d dey r going to demolish the flats. just can't wait to shift..

Reason 6 ` cant log into my bro's laptop due to his password. damn. i'm quite sure i got his password correctly or pehaps i've got memory loss & got it wrong. maybe he had changed his password. arghx` wana use his photoshop + upload stuffs into his laptop while he aint at home. stupid :/

Reason 7 ` my mummy is getting on my nerve. keeps bugging me to have my shower. yes i know she's concern coz its getting late. but i've already said wait & i'll bathe soon. gimme a break. cant i rest to let my body cool down? i juz came home & i'm still perspiring. does she have to keep repeating 'kuai dian qu cong liang'' arghx` i've already heard her. dun hab to repeat, once is enuff. can't stand it when ppl keep repeating themselves. blady irritating. i'm like that if u;ve made urself clear just say it once. if i din get u i'll ask u to repeat but stop repeating the same old sentence over & over coz u'll be pissing me off. dahh`

will you catch her when she falls ;

born to be driven but not to drive`

oh boyy` i almost bang my dd's car yday while testing out on how to drive the car. lolls. so scary cum horrified. lolls. poor dd i guess he muz be darn scared to sit beside me & he must have freaked out at dat point of time. luckily i hit the brake just in time otherwise the bonnet confirm gone case. lolls. my conclusion` i'm born to be driven but not to drive. get that meaning? haha.
*yawnx* am so tired right now even thou i had winkies of slp. just came back frm my theory trial test & b4 dat` galib's place. head hurts & my tummy was churning just now. tankiex g0d its better right now. dinner at ocbc was alright. was seating beside timothy. boyy` cant stand him. really the clown of the class. cant stop laughing while seating beside him. haha. darn full & drank white wine. face turned pinky in colour. as thou i put on blusher. haha. yups. after dinner julian & i headed down to galib's condo. sarah, daph, eli, fad, yad, glen, amelia, rachel was dere. hmm. did i missed out anyone? doubt so. haha. oh my. was surprised when they brought out the cake & sang a belated bday song. lolls. tankiex guys *mmuackkiex* yeahh drank again (-.-) white wine & vodka mix with coke. since when have i bcum so alcoholic? tink its time to do some restrictions on myself. lolls. say no to alcohol. boyy. they was playing dis guessing number game. daph & i were so unlucky to kana the num. but poor daph she ddrank more den me. lolls. drank till my whole face & body turned RED!! yes blady RED lyk a lobster. felt darn hot` burning sensation. but i aint drunk perhaps high? lolls. g0sh. glaib's bed was so darn difficult to slp. lolls. balloon air bed. so uncomfy` in the end sarah & i landed out slping at the sofa. overall was quite fun. haha. alrights i guess its time for me to bathe & den slp to recharge my human batt. gona meet my buddy cheryl later at 5pm at orchard mrt. oh yeahh.. HAPPY APRIL FOOL to all & dun be fooled. haha

will you catch her when she falls ;