when the mind feels uncertained, the heart seemed unclear

"reality's a fake - with twisted words..

never promise when its gona be a broken lie"

sometimes when you think you are right - you may be wrong; sometimes when you think you are in the right track - you could be misleading yourself; sometimes when you think you are in the right mind - you could be deceiving yourself; sometimes when you think you have done the right thing - it could be a mistake; sometimes when you think you have made the right decision - it may not be at all. when you realised you aint right - it would be too late. because of what you think its right, it would lead you to mistakes thus leading to regrets and regrets aint something that you could reverse back time and undo whatever you wish you should not have done or said in the first place. whatever that is done could not be amended`//

pardon me for not updating for i just aint in the mood to do so and been emo-ing. i so love to emo by myself. and when your feeling emo its best to listen to emo songs especially those whereby it makes you wana jump down from the building for it just KILLS away your emotions. the feeling's just simply perfectionately GREAT (= nothing's going smoothly right now & many things happening all at a time. i'm just so tired of everything that evolves around me so much so i just wish to be alone//

been weeks since school started and again PROJECTS is back. as usual having lessons from tuesdays till saturdays are never a happening thing. its the last semester and i just want to get done with it. pretty soon i'll be out in the working industry fighting for my own survival. aint furthering my studies till a later part for i'm just sick of books and NEED A BREAK//

"Life - its never complicated; its what you do that makes it complicated"

#23 - i hate sundays because nothing good turns out. wasnt in a state of mind as something happened. felt so lost and everything i did was lagging. *thanks ad for lending me ur ears* headed down to bugis for project discussion over at tcc. sucky drink that i drank and don't bother trying out their latest beverages for it totally CMI. troubled mind that kept me tripping and i almost fell off the stairs thankfully history did not repeat itself again. went to pray after our project meeting.. *i wish for her to go to a paradise and stop her pain*//

#22 - lesson of 4hours from 9-1pm and thankfully it wasnt that awful otherwise i would just concuss imeediately. headed down to bishan with the ck sweetiies and yoshinoya for lunch cum a lil slacking. met up with glenda in the night at devils. was freaky late again and took a cab down. LOL *sorry sweets* kenneth and his friends was there as well as mingo. i think i've become rather anti-social lately. went over to momo and was fun. *..thanks kenneth and sweets for the ride home (=*//

#17 - *sorry alison for not joining u gus at kbox hope u did have a great 21st (=* went to nuh with dd accompanying me. medicals these days aint cheap and its freaking costly. it isnt cheap to raise me up with the sum of money spent on. i really wonder when can i stop seeing the docs but i guess it'll never happen even when i've got a normal life. i dislike stepping into the clinic and i never like doctors and check ups but they are afterall my saviours. i guess i'm really fortunate and with god's blessing be what i am today plus my parents to thank for. without them things would be really different//

#14 - headed to town in meeting glen & vivien and was late. left for parkway and later on glen's place to slack before meeting adrian at the cheesecake cafe. great place to hang out but the price aint cheap. *thanks ad for the cheescake treat* off to sweets place again for a swim & dammit thanks to my stupid granny that came at the wrong time! been ages since i last swam and i missed it loads. had great fun playing at the pool & sneaking around. headed home at 1145 and so sweet of dd to pick me home//

#o9 - midnight movie with glenda at plaza sing and thankfully she called bcoz i was simply LATE! supposed to meet up at 1o3o and the best thing; i just got out from my bathroom' =X *sorrry sweets!* rushed out of my house and drove there without combing my hair and everything! simply crazy. met her at 11 and just in time for our movie "the producers"

its a musical movie - rather lame and funny. no harm catching it but don't bother if you think musical sucks. overall a rating of 3.8/5. headed over to long john at cine and slacked there till 23o//

#o8 - the thought of unpacking my luggage is simply dreadful due to the amount of things in it. headed to my granny's in the evening and sent my aunts back before heading to zouk to meet glenda.

bumped into stephanie & saw kelvin. phuture was sucky that night and so we hopped over to momo for a while. before we could manage to get in; police raid.

saw edwin and i almost forgotten who he is =X came and disturbed me again` asking me for my signature as he kept saying i'm '~~daphne~~' lookalike! - _ -" freaking sh*t. aint no countless idea how many ppl came telling me i resemble like her and i don't think we lookalike. hopped back to phuture and later on prata house with sweets, kelvin and his friends. back home at 53o//

not forgetting my HONGKONG trip. great place for shopping but the climate sucks. 4 days trip = a memorable and enjoyable trip with the 2 CK sweetiies. without them, it wouldnt be as happening (= like what the slogan says; Hong Kong = Shopping & Makan. LOL! its a total insane. been shopping like hell from morning till past midnight consecutively and bought many stuffs = shop till ~~BROKE~~! and yes we're just way lucky to have good food everyday yet its just way phobia of it. thou a luxury but too much of it makes u sick and i just feel like puking whenever i see food. - _ -" didnt get to spend much time with my brother as he's busy preparing for his competition at viena. did some catching up & had lunch together before he flew. brought me to the rotating restaurant and the view up there is just way fantastic (= *tankiies kor for the present; its really a surprise & i love it loads!* poor me` had itch outbreak on my face due to the environment in HK and my lips - it cracked like hell but at least i get to be like a taitai in hk without having to worry about anything. LOL! shall let my snappies tell it all` its too much to talk about. *..thanks sweetiies for the company and the great time we had in hk (= & not forgetting glenda's mum who took care of us*

F I N A L L Y its the end of my post

a freaking L O N G one indeed'

so R E A D at your own R I S K the next time round..

- the one who has lost the joy of smiling'

"humans are brought to earth to bring joy and happiness

..they aint there to bring unhappiness to the people around'

don't show your attitude as & when you like for you aint deem to do so"

will you catch her when she falls ;

Happy Good Friday my lovely readers - a long break that is

Happy Birthday Alison - have a great 21st` love ya *hugs!
Congrats to Rasul on getting married - have a blissful & loving marriage (=

` pardon me for not blogging; i promise i'll be back soon..

-couldnt blame anyone but myself'

will you catch her when she falls ;

finally back.
aint blogging a full entry - no mood

//changed blog song again - an emo yet meaningful one'

her holidays - a fruitful one
her week break - ended'
back to school - the last semester
herself - leave her alone

..will be back to post a full entry ~~[[when she feel like it]]~~

will you catch her when she falls ;

"the existance of one are meant to be treasured

...and not be ignored"

Happy APRIL FOOL my lovely readers!

..where u go around fooling ppl but pls don't fool me

cause i'll be just too blur to fall into it' LOL!

happy sha lala. in a superb mood right now - not bcoz of anything but its finally the END of EXAMS! back for another entry before my trip. exams are really drainous` making my brains go dead. and yes its time for HONGKONG ((((= *thanks dd & mummy for sponsoring my whole trip even when i could have free ticket & accommodation' yet u still paid for everything* cant waitttt for the trip together with my sweeties & to meet up with my brother. really miss him loads' wonder what is he up to for he's going to surprise me due to my 21st' LOL! another semester has just ended like that & its pretty fast for it'll be the last semester after our week break. somehow or rather its like a mixture of happiness and reluctance. whatever' gotten my timetable & i don't know whether to love or hate it. i guess as time to come i'll be able to tell. LOL! as for now its time to enjoy my holidays (= and yes movie tonight' oh and i think i'll be stopping my quotes because i cant think for more//

// a quick recap of exam week ]]

LOL! aint i geeky enough? ..and i wore my specs the whole wk!

#27 - History paper; its just insane. never had a liking for history.. clueless idea on how to mug with all the wars and revolutions making me nuts. simply to say i screwed it badly. (with my crappiness) LOL//

#28 - Travel Operations paper; didnt mug hard for it & basically an easy paper. LOL! its my 21st and celebrated it in the night at peach garden in a private room. 9 course meal that made me go insanely freaking full but simply yummy with great food' my 21st thou a simple celebration but i'm really contented with what i have because every little things just makes me smile. i'm just plain simple yet complicated within. a conversation with darling one thats simply funny; she was like saying why am i simply getting fairer each day and did i bathe with powder everyday. LOL! funny but its heritance and i'm born fair by nature. if i've got money i would have soak myself in a bath filled with milk. i'm not crazy but its nourishing for the skin (=

*the ones who make me feel like a princess*

*cheryl`brother's girl & i - thanks for the lovely gift (=*
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*she is simply my darling one -hugs- ;D*
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*threesome' cousins united*
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*thanks to my aunt for the angbao (=*
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..was telling ling that i look insanely fair in here

with the four of them i look like a ghost' LOL!

*the people in my life; without my brother's presence*
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*to end it all; the family bondness ;D

..mummy was saying i look like daphne[S.Idol] in here

which is not veerrryy funny at all - _ - *

#29 - Quantative maths; did i ever mention i go nuts with maths where i'll start pulling my hair and messing it up looking like a crazy lady? LOL! i'm just crossing my fingers for a pass as i really did mug for it//

#3o - Travel Attraction; questions that seems never ending where there had to be loads of writings that fingers couldnt take it' suckkks & all i gave was some crappp//

#31 - Business Communication; more writings again but thankfully it isnt that bad as travel attraction//

#o1o4 - Tourism Geography; mugged for an hour & thankfully the paper aint that bad except for pictures - i'm just bad at it and there goes my marks flying away//

i've finally turned 21. the key to everything and am responsible for every actions made. perhaps what mingo said makes sense; reaching adulthood isnt a bad thing afterall. a new beginning to start and to let go of whatever that is left behind. my childhood will be kept as memories. i'll just miss being a child for its the most joyous period where u don't give a damn about anything and just do whatever u want to do like there's no tml or future to think of. anyway there's nothing much to hold onto as my childhood isnt really much of a happy or sweet thing. i do have my parents love and they give me whatever i want' however its their presence that i've always yearned for and we seldom communicate with one another' even for now. couldnt blame them as they work hard to provide a comfort life for my brother and i. barbie dolls were my companions` maybe thats why im always in my own world and stupid maids *don't ever hire p*-maids bcoz they get abusive* the pain and suffering i've to go through that nobody can ever experience, more of downs than ups and fighting it all by myself. i used to be so demoralized and hated myself like hell where it got worse and made me tear in silence. its torturous and hard to overcome but it made me learnt many things and be what i am today. "don't be afraid to face whatever obstacles as avoidance isnt the best solution. be brave to face it and u'll learnt from there thus making u a stronger person." i admit i aint strong emotionally but i have what it takes to be strong. my life - its like a withering plant struggling hard for survival. whatever its a new beginning for me and hopefully it'll be a good one' shall not return back to the past and never will i reveal anything bcoz it just hurts badly//

..to end it off ;

* thankks to those for the lovely presents - i really appreciate loads (=

*my parents; bringing me up isnt an easy thing to do. the pains and worries that are never ending. thou we seldom had time for each other and i'm always in a world of my own, they never failed to make me feel loved and blessed.. showering me with endless love making me like a princess. now that age is catching up they;ve got more spare time yet i'm always so busy. perhaps when each of us have got our life on our own things differ and i'll try my best to open up and get out of that world of mine. i'm really thankful to have them in this lifetime and nothing can make up the things they have done for me (=//

..and my brother whom have always been a dear one in my heart and never fail to protect me' love him till bits! (=

will you catch her when she falls ;