when the mind feels uncertained, the heart seemed unclear

" in times of need & troubles i'll always be there for u;
in times of happiness & joy i'll definately be here;
for i'm here to bring joy & happiness in one's life
distressing my sorrows aint in my life term dictionary "

why am i here typing away when i'm not supposed to? oh yeh last post till den its after my exams. haha. oh gosh` cant imagine my exams just next week! freaking fast can. its crazyy!! there's still many things uncomplete how am i gona start mugging. may my guardian angel pls protect me & bless me (= i cant waittt - for my 1 month break` ooo lala. i simply loves hols. and yes its time for me to let my hair down & relax cum earn moneyyy. hopefully by den i'm able to manage to psyco mummy to sponsor me to highlight my hair. yes` its time for some change. am gona colour my hair again! haha. who cares abt the damn system in sch. its alr so screwed` fancy kicking ppl out when the time is reaching. such an ass. dun dey hab empathy or emotions? why call themselves private in the first place. bet they just love cheating ppl's money & claims that they are frigging poor. big booboo to dem. wonder why in the first place did i enter the damn shit again. all tankies to tp & dats the reason why i hate dem. so what if my grades aint gd. at the end of the day doesnt mean result gd means u'll be successful. okay my brains maybe cranked up or full of worms but that doesnt mean i'm not gd enuff. its just that studying aint my forte & i nbr once a fan of books. i'm not stupid or dumb` i'm born clever just that i dun make use of my ability. i aint bhb-ing or lying coz i know it myself. not happy with the way i post? see that X button on the top right? click it & bye. haha. thats me - not happy dun enter my blog la. who cares abt what ppl think abt me. opinions doesnt matter its what i think & believe in myself thats important. *yawns* went momo last fri with glen, abbie, srh dottie in celebrating vivi's adv bday together with andrew, audrey & martin. tankies vivi for opening 2 bottles of chivas. lolls. din really drink except 2 glass of chivas + green tea. saw tingwei, tiancai, zhongyi, slyvia, shaun, abel, mark, jaime. got 2 noe two guys thou i cant rem their name. lolls. aint locals & frm hk & taiwan but studying in aussie. the way they speak - happening sia. slang all the way. lolls. friendly peeps i must say. din slp at all & i actually went to sch on sat for english. lolls. okay i must admit i slept almost all the way in her class. sorry ms diah` i din mean to. haha. duno who so crazy set the air con till so cold. machiam in eskimo` made me shiver all the way frm the point whereby i stepped into class till i left. how great can that be. yes i'm sick again. i just knew it` hate the stupid buggie that loves irritating me. now now lil buggie ii dun wan u neither do i love u - can u pls shoo shoo awayyy frm meee? urgh! yups. my bro's leaving HK & sad cnt send him off to the airport. initially wanted have lunch b4 i go sch but iidiottts!! last minute they say got geography. emo sia. hmphs! lalala. gona buy christmas tree with my parents` so happening. will i have a lovely christmas this year? (= i want a white oneee. so prettyy. anyone has any idea of where to get a white christmas tree? hmm. i need to go shopping man` wonder if i've an atm machine this time round to sponsor me. lolls. of coz i wun be so mean & whack till so terrible. just my top for presentation & some make up will do. lolls.

** sweets - Glen, abbie, srh dottie & vivi >> great fun on friday & yeh 2 crazy elephants that got to be taken care of. haha. tankiex vivien for inviting us to celebrate ur bday` hope u had great fun dat night & i bet u do. lolls. poor u having to have 3 hard knocks on ur head. wonder if its meant to be a bday gift for u. lolls. opps :x happening again after exams yeah (= and come come let me donate my love to each & everyone of u. wahahah. *hugs !

** Glen >> go go jiayou ! love ya. and i think u should know what am i trying to convey (= *hugs !

[x] lucks to my grpies for our presentation; 3o11o5 & o212o5

[x] Happy advance birthday to vivi &amp;amp;amp; nick nick; o112o5

[x] Happy mugging my dtm peeps & happy post exams! lolls ;P :: o5-o912o5

last but not least... Happy December everyone (= hahaha. okays not funny :x

...till then ii belong to no-one but myself.
nunnery is something i;m aiming for

relationship is a game
marriage is a commitment
being single is freedom
love is something i don't believe in
hurt is a temporary word
scar is a permanent thing
memories are beautiful
regrets are the unnecessities in one's life

+ peeps may think there aint meaning to the things i type
+ it may be shit or craps to u or nothing at all
+ but it means something to me
+ for there's a meaning conveying every thought i type
+ i don't need ur opinion on the way i think
+ for every inidividuals are different
+ so shut ur mouth if u tink its crap
+ and yes STOP MEOWING away all my thoughts !
+ its what i think & stop behaving as if it belongs to u
+ if ur capable enough come out one urself. but ur not
+ at the end of the day ur just a L O S E R. so fcuk off !

will you catch her when she falls ;

if i were to die will anyone be sad or shed a tear for me?
can i free my emotions & not smile for a day ?

finally am able to squeeze in some time to blog & have been frigging busy lately. gosh. feeling freaky shitty right now & am still in the emo mood. am seriously god damn TIRED! seriously i am. one look at my face & words of exhaustion appears. anyone willing to sponsor me coffee to keep me awake? i guess i'll collaspe soon if it continues this way. i want to sleep & feel like sleeping & need to sleep yet i cant )= been staying up till wee hours doing my stupid projects & sleeping for 3 hours each day? its terrible! couldnt even wake up in the morning & dun even have the mood to go sch but yet i cant. *siighhs* hopefully i'll be able to complete this shit & get done with everything by saturday & that my mental state doesnt die on me - most importantly not falling ill. projects are all due on next week & am having 2 presentations; wednesday & friday. hopefully things will go smoothly (= many things happened the past few days & am way too tired to recall. my bro came back yday & will be leaving to HK on mon. am glad to see him home - how sweet of him to give cheryl a sudden surprise. lolls. the look & expression on her face was like so funny. not much changes except that he became tanner & lost some weight. wonder if the food there isnt to his liking. final conclusion? home cook food is the best unless the person is a lousy cook den its an exception. had fire drill in school yday & was darn lame. at least we got spared from tourism geography. lolls. anyway` ms tok's leaving & won't be teaching us. the news was saddening as she's been our c.tutor for half a year although she made us be in grps that many of us dreads. many thanks to her for everything & trying her best to keep us going as a class (= we're gona have our flea market + car wash tml & its the last ctis for this sem. hopefully we'll be able to sell most of the stuffs & get loads of money to donate. hopefully i'll be able to help in the car wash. no matter how exhausted i'm in i dun mind helping out for it'll be tiring. oh did i mention i've got a new pet? its little goldie. lolls. ahh nono waittt its not my pet - its my parents. cnt be bothered abt little goldie bcoz i'm not a fan of the FISHY. its the most boring thing u can ever own. initially had 3 of them but unfortunately 2 died due to i duno what reason - wonder if it(s) died bcoz they din get my attention or me giving them my love? now dun u give me that murderer look for its aint my fault to their deaths. even if they really died due to me not giving them my attention its still not my fault for they've got my parents love. besides it cant be greedy to have threesome worlds right? LOLS. okay i'm being lammee again & how crap can i get. whatever` rip my lil ones & dun blame me for ur unfortunate deaths for i'm innocent. lolls. can i have my retriever instead? or maybe a chinchilla? gona celebrate vivien's bday @ momo tml. doubt i'll have the energy to even go crazy for i most prob be a zombie. the best thing is we've got class on saturday. how great can dat be. (-.o) exams in 2wks time. doubt i'll be blogging so dun bother coming in.

will you catch her when she falls ;

" my heart's like a stone with no emotions in it "

my heart aches; my tears are betraying me; my chest is suffocating & my life is currently like a jigsaw puzzle. messy & incomplete - with many lil pieces mixed up & not completed into a puzzle. sometimes i really wonder is this the way god wants me to be in? to have obstacles obstructing my journey of life` seeing how i overcome them & to test my endurance or does he want me to start praying to seek for guidance. i don't know` there are many things going through my mind making me at lost. my life suddenly seems so dark & burden with lots of thing - everything is just being overloaded` am going to suffocate & i'm soon going berserk. i'm really really tired of the way i'm right now; my life & everything. i no longer know what am i doing; what am i living for; who i am; what i want in life. i don't even know how much longer can i hold on. my energy, my concentration, my tolerance, my patience, my endurance is all draining out. i'm so sick of struggling. struggling to be strong - emotionally, physically, mentally. struggling to hold on; struggling not to break down. i'm so tired of suffering silently & in pain, fighting against the demons all by myself. really..i'm not here or to be born to suffer in silence or to fight against the demon all by myself or being a superwoman & to cater to ppl's wants & needs or likes or dislikes. can i for once let myself go? very much i want to but i cant. how torturous or painful it is i've to hold on. i wish i could just stop whatever i'm doing but i cant. i hate books & i'm so sick of school life now. everything i see irks me but what can i do. no matter how strainous or sick it is i've to complete my studies for i want to go out into the working industry. not that i love being in the outside world` i would rather continue furthering my studies than to work but i cant for i want to earn loads of money. enough to further my studies & get myself out of this place. no doubt i've got a comfortable life - whatever i want i get it & them providing the best of what they could for me. but thats not what i want why cant they understand that. u can shower me with loads of money, love, comfort and so on but it doesnt help much for such things can never possess one's happiness. no matter how much u give happiness is something that can never be bought. never mind the fact that no matter how hard i try explaining or standing up for my rights i'll still be in the wrong or being accused for nothing or words being put into my mouth. i don't care as it doesnt seem to bother me anymore but why issit so hard to get one's understanding? thats all i need. i guess by leaving this place only than can i find my true self & to be able to free myself. i know why he wants to break free & not having the urge of coming back. *siighhs* u know whats the worst profession on earth? its being a clown. why? coz it aint no easy task for they've to put on a smile & be happy even if their world come collapsing on them. people always have the perception that clowns are silly & they don't have a single bit of problem but they are wrong for deep down they aint happy at all. have u ever experience the way they have been or gone through & how they felt? although i'm not one & my profession aint to be a clown but i don't have to be one to experience their sorrows for deep in me i'm already a clown. i'm sorry if today's post totally sucks for i'm really emotionally down. there are too many things bottling in me` i know i'll feel much better if i confide my problems to others but that will be my last resort as i never like to burden my problems onto others for i would rather make others smile & be happy rather than seeing them frown. don't try asking what's happening for i'll never tell u. there are too many things that cant be expressed out & let it be known. no worries for i'll be fine & this isnt the worst of it yet coz i've gone through depression stage before what more can i not handle? i believe no matter how terrible i'm going through i'll be able to pull through for i;ve faith in myself.

..and yes peeps as for now quit calling or msging me for i wish to be alone & not to be disturbed. i hate it when ppl doesnt understand simple language. seriously don't try & irritate or provoke me at this point of time or especially so when i'm busy rushing my projects coz i don't have the tolerance or the patience & i don't have the time to entertain ppl especially stupid things. don't try me for the consequences will not be good & i don't know what will i do for i'm already losing my mind.

will you catch her when she falls ;

it'll be good if someone could strangle me right now for i'm going insane soon.
...and greattt i'm having a frigging bad migrane. can i not go to school tml? =(

will you catch her when she falls ;

lalala. back for short update. urgh! i totally gave up. cant seem to upload my song onto my blog` whatever! basically time is running out for me & i'm running against time. haha. right now i'm too busy for any other things so pardon me if i ever ignore u. damn. projects are killing me - rushing like hell day by day without fail & my eyebags getting worser. nbr mnd i shall save my money to buy my secret weapon & i aint telling wad issit. the only thing i could do is to wish for mr santa to fly to my home on christmas & gimme 1oobucks - best still get me my secret weapon on the spot. lolls. but dat will nbr happen for it'll only occur in my dreams. bllah. i seriously need money - LOADS of it for i've loads of things to buy but yet gotta put on hold. *soobbs* poor me. urgh! i guess the last resort is to approach my dd - but i dun tink i wan to do dat. and yes i need a job to work during dec BADLY. finally ms pampered spoilt brat has decided to work. haha. school's as usual - nothing much happening except that we're going to have an auction as our class ctis. abit messy & thou we dun have much time for ourselves let alone having an auction but for the sake of charity i guess its worth every moment spent. for those who doesnt give a slightest damn abt it pls keep ur mouth shut & give unneccessary comments.

..and before i end my post - its time for snappies !

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

CRAZY things we do when we're ultimately bored in class

L O L S ! super happening ehh..
okies i better run before someone butters me up again - but i aint scared coz he cant read what i blog clearly. haha! (=

will you catch her when she falls ;

gosh. its really crazy re-formatting my whole blog for hours has been spent doing this - with loads of editing & stuffs + error & whatsoever. so irritating! and duno wads wrong with my bgrd music. tankiex god its finally done. hopefully nothing gona screw up my skin again for i aint gona change my skin already. *yawns* aint blogging further for its time to sleep. and yes screw that blady fcuker asshole who was staring at my ass in sch. din even noe dat till ad told me abt it. urgh! i hope his eyes rot like hell. !@#$%^&* can't stand shatec guys. they simply sucks to the core & are being condemned by me. before i forget.. cwei ur honey that u made for us really tasted like honey. LOLS. okay what crap am i talking abt. hmm. did u go bee catching recently & stole their bee hives in order to scrape out the honey for us? or have u been keeping bees lately in order to get honey frm them? LOLS =X tankiex yeah & dun say i dun have the basic courtesy. haha. bllahhs.

...and i shall be back to blog when i'm free.

will you catch her when she falls ;

urgh..what a saturday! feeling freaking emo right now for i'm damn BORED! damn. going crazyy soon. been staying at home for the past days - week & i cant take it anymore. perhaps i really aint used to staying at home on a saturday. haha. had geography re-test dis morn & maybe it aint as bad as the previous paper however i guess i'll still flunk it but maybe score slightly better den the previous one? haha. at least better den nothing right. so quit asking me abt geo & stuffs cum maps. i'm like super lagging today - aint no idea why. must be the stupid atlas dat caused my brains to be haywired. lolls =X din do much after i got home for i practically rot all the way. haha. let me rest for a day and i'll definately start my mugging machine otherwise i confirm die & have nightmares with 4 projects hunting me down. if only i've got a clone. haha. lammeee. oh well.. i shall get ready & wait for my mummy to come home to have my dinner & off i go to meet glen & sarah dottie. lolls. its time for some slacking session otherwise i can blady hang myself & die due to emo-ing too much alone. haha` how crap can i get. blahh.

will you catch her when she falls ;

what a thursday! pretty nice weather to sleep for it rained but its a pity i couldnt catch any winky slp. was watching amazing race on scv - not that i'm suddenly so into geography but i just love watching that programme. haha. besides it will be so unlike me if i say i love geography for that sub simply sucks. tink not happening to watch already for the paolo family got eliminated - not that i like that family but there aint anymore happening drama fights to see except for whiney cats purring. lolls. how crazy & lame can one get` the son telling the mother to shut up or he'll drown her into the water & nobody will find her body. LOL. now u know why i love watching amazing race. lolls. opps =X gotten back my M.I.S test & how idiot can i get - making stupid careless mistakes for nothing & letting my marks flew away happily like nobody's business. could have scored much higher even thou my marks was already pleasing to the eyes. whatever. mistakes have been done hopefully i wun be so blur to repeat the same thing for exam otherwise i'll just have to strangle myself. talking abt exams.. we just received our schedule & its on the 2nd week of december - which is pretty fast. aint no time to slack anymore maybe i should MIA and time to get serious business. come to think of it, its pretty scary for days are passing frigging fast & very soon another sem will be over. whatever it is all i want is my freakingg holidayyyss. haha. wonder if i should go to sch tml as i aint in the mood to go for its only an hour of M.I.S *yawns* okay its time to burry myself into the map of geography - _ -

..to end my post

// snappiie of me & danny -]]

..which was taken ages back
when they were still in sch & b4 i snipped my hair short. lolls. can't blame for i just receive it recently

+ movies on hold ;

wonder if i really have the time to catch it

+ movies coming soon ;

aint it simply adorablelicious cuttteeee !
lolx. the chix lil dat;s simply irresistable
ii'm waiting for i wana watchhhh it.

will you catch her when she falls ;

damn. i've a feeling that one of my wisdom tooth is growing out for i could feel something sharp protruding out of my gums. feeling rather uncomfy - _ -" aint no idea how its going to be like plucking out one's teeth thou i used to had braces on. was lucky for i was spared without extracting any teeth. guess i aint gona be spared this time plus i've got 4 of it. shuckks. hopefully it doesnt come out one short but its okay for i love having pain inflicted on me. haha. call me crazy i sure am one. dun have the mood to blog but due to certain reasons i decided to. sorry peeps if my entry's long as today's entry meant for a particular person. been rather stone these days especially yday for i had a pathetic of 2hrs slp. LOL. was on conference call with glen & abbie till 4+. how happening can we get - forgoing our beauty sleep but who cares. din even study for my H.S test for i totally gave up on it. not that its a difficult sub but the contents are rather vague which makes one wonder how to study for it. as a result i sat for my test with an empty sleepy brain. guess every answers that i wrote was total crap & i wonder if those craps of mine would help me pass my test. lolls. tankies god for the big cup of caffine that kept me awake thou every movement i made was frigging lag. - _ o *yawns* one more frigging test & its down with mugging of projects. days are getting crazy with dateline catching up. oh boy` guess i shall take every opportunity that i have to sleep for very soon i've to bid gd bye to it. gotten back my Q.S & P.O.C results for last sem & lucky me passed both. lolls. *siighhs* i wana watch movie yet there aint any time for me to catch the movies i wana watch. guess my wkends gona be burnt out.

tired of the way u eat ur cake?

no worries.

here's an interesting way of eating a cake.

lolls ;P

. . . . .

. . . .

. . .

. .

style right ? lolls

opps. =X better siam now..

before someone starts strangling me.

========= [ ::-xXx-:: ]=========

to that silent reader who calls one a ~~hypocrite~~; in the first place i've nothing against u neither do i wish to create any unhappiness or conflicts or hatred with u. ask urself what have u done & landed up such mess; if u havent started ur nonsense and try means to hurt my friend would i have anything against u. i'm not someone who will stand there & not do anything when my friend is in trouble or being hurt but i'll protect and be there for her in times of need & trouble. seriously i dun give a damn abt how u tink of me bcoz ur perception or opinion doesnt matter. u can hurl whatever names or criticise me for all u want for it doesnt affect me the slightest bit. in the first place, u dun even know me well enough let alone my character. pls stop behaving or acting as thou u've known me for a long time coz its freaking disgusting & i dislike such peeps. really` how can a person possibly know one well in & out when they met thrice with less than a 5 min conversation - its plainly ridiculous. let me make this clear - i dun simply accept anyone to be my friend just like that; allowing peeps to get close to me or enter my life. secondly, before u open that mouth of urs ask urself & search for ur conscious what have u done; are u even fit to call ppl a ~~hypocrite~~. if calling one a ~~hypocrite~~, than what are u? shouldnt u be far worse than that? and pls before u shoot others shouldnt u at least open ur dictionary & check out the meaning? please stop all ur childish act & nonsense + stop hurting my friend. we're freaking sick of every little actions u do & say. drop that act & pretendence of urs. quit pretending to be an ~~angel~~ when ur already a devil. stop acting as thou u like her but in actual fact u hate her to the core. stop adding salt & pepper to create some bullshit or untrue rumours and worse trying means to hurt her relationship with her boy. quit twisting and turning ur words & dun approach another party for help and start acting like a weak duckling. really if your not happy just come and approach us- dun turn 360° around. dun act as thou ur the innocent one. in fact i think u should be ashame of ur actions. truth is.. ur the one who has something against my friend thats how u provoked us & getting urself into such shit. pls think of ur friends and the people around u too. have u thought how much hurt/trouble have u inflicted on them & to think u actually use force on them. have u ever thought of their feelings? people are humans and not any craps we do have emotions & friendships aint there to be made use of. really i think u shoudnt go off limit. i know i aint in the position to say anything but dun u think u should reflect on ur behaviour? perhaps u should seek for personal help to unleash the pain, hatred & jealousy in u before it worsens. why cling onto something & not let go knowing that nothings gona change the truth. why create so much unhappiness to urself & the ppl ard u just to get his attention? what do u gain by doing this? shouldnt u wake up, pulling urself back to reality & face the truth? stop running away for it doesnt help. i seriously hope u'll stop creating troubles once and for all. the last thing i've to say to u - learn to love others and they in return will love u back.

will you catch her when she falls ;

at this point of time..

her heart stopped beating

*she ask her heart;
- why have u stop beating
- have u given up on me?

*her heart replied;
- i'm not giving up on u yet`
- i'm just searching for what i want
- giving some peaceful time for myself
- cause i'm too tired - tired to move on;
- therefore i decided to stop.

*she replied to her heart;
- since u've stopped beating
- there is no point for my life to be colourful for i'm emotionless.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

urgh` i'm so damn pissed. its like not the first time already` causing me to make a wasted trip. damn u young fc*ks. i've enough. u think ppl so freaking damn free issit. if u peeps have no time for rehearsals don't arrange for one & don't arrange rehearsals as & when u like it plus dun come and kpkb when ppl dun show up coz u have no right to do that. for heaven's sake dun u peeps have the sense of responsibility to inform ppl that rehearsal has been cancelled? i've no time for such things. thats the worst thing ever i hate most. if u peeps love being so immature & irresponsible dun u blame me for not turning up the rehearsals or being MIA. if ur not happy about it i can return u back the stupid script otherwise u can jolly well kick me out of the play & put me back at the backstage. am supposed to be mugging for my Front Office test but i've got no mood to mug. shall start my engine later on. *yawns* have got no intention to change my skin layout for i love my previous one alot however it has got some problems due to duno what reason & i've got no choice but to change the entire thing. any comments? couldnt find any nice ones at the moment & i'm kinda lazy + busy to do anything` i'm freaking so damn bored` been staying at home & not going out. kinda not used to it. haha. was supposed to join my lovely CKs at the Conrad hotel on friday but poor me down with the sick bug *sobs* nothing surprising coz i'm forever falling sick every month without fail. bllahh. am gona be so god damn busy mugging dis wk. doubt i've the time for anything & after that i've got to rush for my projects. the next thing its EXAMS. oh how i ~~"LOVE"~~ it loads. - _ - brother called this morning` din get to talk to him over the phone & mummy said he might be back at the end of november (= oh yay just can't wait for him to be back frm HK. i really miss him loaddds *siighhhs*

before i end my post..

perhaps many think i'm being emo at this point of time` but i'm not. i'm perfectly fine. there isnt much of a thing for me to emo abt except for money. haha. why should i be emo when life is beautiful. okay maybe my life isnt so beautiful yet for life will be only be beautiful when u find the meaning to it. and yes to certain friends of mine` life isnt dull but colourful. if its meant to be dull why do rainbows exist. perhaps at this moment of time ur facing certain obstacles but dun let it bring u down. dun give up hope on urself k. there's still a journey that awaits u & along that journey of life u'll get to learn & see many little things that will bring joy & happiness (=

========= [ ::-xXx-:: ]=========

i know u are a silent reader in my blog so OPEN UR EYES (O-O) WIDE & hear me clearly u BITCH. but i think ur eyes is BIG enuff unless ur big eyes is god damn useless. u better STOP ur NONSENSE before things get ugly//worst. and STOP PRETENDING as thou u KNOW everyone years back. its freaking disgusting` and whats ur damn problem? do u have something against the CKs? i'm WARNING u; STOP doing stupid things or saying things that are untrue about my friend. if ur trying to be funny making things EXPLODE or trying to hurt her den u better go to ur FAIRYLAND coz it'll never ever happen. and yes which part of her are u unhappy of or are u jealous bcoz she is tons better than u? need i pass u a mirror for u to do some SELF REFLECTION. if u want to deal with my friend u come and deal with me first coz i aint letting u HURT her u BITCH. u want play funny shits right let it on` i aint scared of u. i'm game for it. its a matter who gets hurt but i'm NOT LIKE u` i don't MAKE USE of ppl & causing innocent ones be hurt. STOP PROVOKING any of the CKs - if u ever do be prepared to meet ur doom & u'll never be blessed. not happy come and face us la. as for now u better watch what u say & the actions u do. seriously GET A LIFE LOSER !

========= [ ::-xXx-:: ]=========

am blessed cum glad to have a friend like u & nbr once did i regret knowing u. tankies for being so nice i really appreciate that` but really dun spend too much time & being too nice to me for i'm not worthy of it. i'm not one who will take advantage of other ppl's feeling & neither do i tink i'm good enough for anyone. i know what u are hoping for and thou i din say anything to prevent frm causing u further pain but hopefully i've gave sufficient hints to make u understand. sorry if i've hurt u or whatsoever bcoz i dun want u to continue having a false hope - something which will never meant to be & happen. i believe there are better ones out there` whatever it is i'll always be here whenever u need me (= and yeah wait till i'm done with my projects & sch works den we meet up again. as for the time being keep ur fingers cross that i dun MIA on sundays on rehearsing our scripts.

will you catch her when she falls ;

**before scrolling down to read my entry` i suggest its either u read it properly & not misinterpret my words or u dun read it at all. entries posted aint refering to anyone in particular but if ur sensitive to tink i'm refering abt u so be it coz i dun see a nid to suit everyone's preference on the way i blog. if ur not happy dun read & start making a fuss outta it.

before i start burying myself into the books shall post an entry first. boyy am i friiging tired *yawns* came back ard 5 & chatted on the phone with Glen till 6+ & slept till 11 dis morn. aint getting sufficient beauty sleep but i juz cant seem to slp. lolls. of coz i did bathe like upon reaching home coz i stinked lyk hell. lolls. din go anywhere today except to the airport to fetch mummy` poor her din get to enjoy her Taipei trip as she suddenly fell terribly ill. telling us how horrified it was & dat she tot dat she cudnt make it back home. tankies god she has got god's blessing to watch over her & nothing happened. saw Mark at the airport doing his duty` poor thing PH kana burnt just like dat. wanted to disturb him but better not. haha. anyway its time to get serious. shall be a good girl & stay at home for the upcoming days` must start mugging to prevent my grades frm detoriating. next wk is super crazyyy! with F.O, Sales, English & retest of Tourism Geography. gona be dead shit. surprisingly i became a 'maid' for once` or shud i say the first time since i shifted in? lolls. cleaning & tidying up the house, doing the laundry, folding the clothes & washing up. thou i'm an idiot doing household chores not knowing how to use the washing machine. LOLS. opps =X but still i'm so proud of myself. who says pampered & spoilt child doesnt do household chores? well i prove u guys wrong =) and yes its time for more moisturiser before my hands get rough. haha! got back my tourism results for last sem yday & it aint as terrible as i thought its gona be` in fact it somehow made me happier for i din expect myself to get such gd grades (= thou i believe i could have scored higher but whatever it is i'm satisfied with it. perhaps i no longer expect much frm myself - for the higher ur expectation is the greater disappointment u receive. dun wana go thru such emo mood anymore as long as i get gd grades & done well i'm contented. went home after sch & simply rot myself. am just too tired to do anything. lolls. and yes despite not wanting to go to zouk i landed up dere. lolls. opps =X night out with the sweetiies " Abbie, Glenda, Sarah Dottie & fren[which i've forgotten the name =X], Shiying & her fren Kenggie, Vivien, Amelia & her clan. anyway tankiex to Ame who queued for sometime & letting us join her in the queue. later on Zhongyi came to find us & we met up with Clifton. haha. saw Abel & Shawn and later on bumped into Rachel [been ages since i last saw her. lolls] & Nick. he told me Brandon was inside but din get to bump into him. haha. zouk was freaking damn crowded last night & was worst den halloween. couldnt get into Phuture till 345 for tix were sold out. urgh! dun really fancy the music at zouk. lolls. soo sad Abbie, Sarah dottie & vivien left early otherwise we could all get crazy together. in the end its left with me & glen. what would u expect when 2 crazy khakhis being together? lolls. thou zouk wudnt be as fun as phuture but it was happening & had superlicious fun. got to know Meiting & she's just so sweet & crazyyy. haha. din get high for i din drink much` aint in the mood to drink & better dis way. trying to cut down for its bad for health. lolls. got to know some peeps & i cant rem their name coz basically i cant be bothered & i dun really entertain guys at clubs. there's 2 peeps i would like to tankies. really tankies Zhongyi for taking the trouble to send me home. how nice can one get. haha. Mr nice guy here actually left zouk earlier & was already in amk. he actually came all the way down & send me home. lolls. was kinda paiseh sia but really appreciate ur kindness yeah (= and yes not forgetting Clifton who's sweet to offer to send me home & calling me again to check where was i for he wanted to send me home (= & yes stop saying i'm mean to u coz i aint mean. i'm only mean to those who i condemned but ur not. haha. oh yes sorry peeps no pic of yday for we din really take any snappies. lolls. oh yeahh i went velvet on monday too` halloween party. lolls. together with Abbie & Glen.

was so amazing see how ppl dress up. the best thing was the gigantic Phoenix & the duckies & so on. lolls. so funny & cute. dun really like velvet darn boring. lolls. and stupid uncles pls buzz off u are too old. stop being so hummies. urgh` drank Long Island & its sucks like hell. club hopped & headed to momo. tankiex Abel for signing us in (= saw Kelvin too & got to know another Kelvin. haha. lammeee// Fad was working & his painted face was so pretttyyy. lolls. later on we went back to phuture. tankies to glen's fren who came to pick us up. so happpeennniinnggg` i sat a sports for once. so happy (= its like how lucky can u get to sit a sports? haha. okay thats lame. before we left, saw dis caucasian in a bikini` haha. behind that monster mask reveals a hunk (=

**Glenda >> my crazy khakhi` i love u mannn. lolls. every moment was an enjoyable one with u & really tankies for everything. u simply make me (= haha. and yeahhh tankiies for always saving cum helping me taking over to drink those darn alcohol offered when i refused to drink. lolls. simply to end it offf *mmmuackks* and yes. dun forget our next session` haha. the next time round we shallll get friiginggg crazy together okiex so in the mean time lemme rest for the month of November ! LOLS. must helppp me cut cut cuuttttt downnn later i kana butter by our ck sister. haha.

**CWei // Ck sister >> ehhh Happy 18thhhh Birthday. finally turned 18 already no longer in ur teenage years. haha. hopefully u enjoyed this special moment of urs (= happy right can officially go clubbing drink ur beer & purchase whatever shittiness; haha. dun worry k vv soon u'll reach the number 2 & u can view those scandalous movie. LOLS. and yes i still remember what i said & yet to forget. its the month of November & i've already clubbed twice. i'll MARK my words & PROVE u wrong` dun be tooo glleeeful yet. LOLS. too bad u cud have buttered me up yday for its ur bday coz i'll let u off as ur the KING of yday but too bad u wasted that chance. LOLS. as for now.. better wake up ur idea ok. haha :P anyway tankiies for what u've done` all is appreciated & can u stop being so S T R E S S !

oh yes before i end..

should i cut my hair or should i let it remain as it is. lolls. having the urge to cut my hair again` dun tink i wana keep my hair long already. mummy said not to cut for its already short but i tink its getting longer each day. hmmm. tink i'm getting cranked out & i really pity my hair. lolls. venting my frustrations on it.

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stop thinking ur hell outta a treasure thinking ppl needs u peeps to be in their life; stop thinking highly of urself; quit eating sour plums & vinegar ur frigging sour enuff - its disgusting & quit being childish fc*ks. who god damn care abt u peeps. ur just small ants. will there be a day whereby scientist create a chemical where it can eliminate all ants or maybe a day to come whereby the elephants lift up their giant heavy foot and stamp on the ants. lolls. ants are irritating shits pest. okay thats lame cum crap` simply to say get a life LOSERS.

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the types of GUYS that PUTS ME OFF

1 - fc*king losers & ungentleman

i hate GUYS who are so ruggard & UNGENTLEMAN. excuse me` like whats ur prob? who the hell do u think u are? its not as thou ur a KING or some big FC*K or any girls who will go crazyy over. dun come and give such shitty attitude & act like a big fc*k coz u already are a LOSER. one look at u & ppl will know ur such an asshole LOSER; do u nid me to pass u a mirror? what shit ATTITUDE is that? how great can dat be when a person who doesnt know that person well & fancy landing up provoking one thus being CONDEMN like hell now. and boyy was i on the verge of whacking u. u SUCKS & thats a fact. hello? dun u have the BASIC COURTESY and greet ppl politely when ppl actually said smiled & said hi instead of giving that ARROGANT ATTITUDE. and yes fancy STEPPING on a girl's TOE not even a word of SORRY? u blady asshole. i suggest u take a good LOOK at urself before u start KPKB at ppl. oh well. ur such a disgrace to the guys & if i were a guy i would have bashed u up like a pulp. thats a fact.

2 - irritating peessstts

seriously i can't stand guys who follows u around & frigging persistant who basically has no saint idea of whats body language. such ppl shud be send to our stupid sch & learn communication skills. like hello. its like a LEECH unable to GET RID of? and it IRKS cum pisses me off. others may like guys following them around but not for me. they SUCKS to the CORE.

.. simply to end it off` guys are jerks & forever remain as one. thats a fact & cant be changed.

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i don't believe in the word 'forever' for 'forever' doesnt last ; 'forever' is like a word in fairy tale which doesnt exist in reality ; there's nothing that is 'forever' ; if 'forever' means a thing den why cant human live 'forever'?

will you catch her when she falls ;