when the mind feels uncertained, the heart seemed unclear

happy sha la la..

//her in a lil happy mood

i love myself (=

wana know why?

oh well...

i'm afraid u gotta wait...

for the next entry (=

will you catch her when she falls ;

was almost late for my yoga & i panicked. luckily i managed to arrive 2mins earlier. was damn worried as they wudnt allow late comers to enter the class when it starts. phhewws. lesson learnt? am gona go straight after sch & not home. lolls. oh yes yoga was simply great today. its actually combat yoga` a mixture of kickboxing + yoga. perspired alot & my whole face turned lobster red which is a gd thing rather than pale shit as it means i've got blood circulating in me (= haha. felt much better after that. seems like everything diminished. thou its just temporary but its better den nothing. went for steaming after yoga & was kinda relaxing thou i was afraid my lens might melt in my eyes as it was too hot. oh great` town is just too small. i bumped into stupid brandon outside shaw while heading for dinner. at that moment of time i was engrossed talking to darling one & din realise he was dere till he caught my attention as i felt someone familiar was staring at me. i quickly ran away dragging darling one away. lolls. *yawns* am tired + sleepy now but can't sleep as i gotta do my project research. the best part is my bro took most of the things to HK including the thumbdrive & i'm left with nothing. guess its time to drop by the IT mall & yes finally i'm able to have some cash by selling 4 books away (= gona spend it wisely & no i shall not spend it on clubbing` sorry if i can't join u babes & sorry glen..its time to excuse me if i can't join u for clubbing. i really wana cut down & am trying hard to restrict myself for i can only club twice in a month.. hmms. dun have the mood to go to sch tml as its only 1 lesson. feel like skipping it as its pretty lame to go all the way to bukit batok & attend a 1hr 15mins lesson *yawns* nbr mnd just drag myself as i want my 100% attendance dis sem besides i've got my project meeting too.

will you catch her when she falls ;

its the second day of sch & it aint so bad if u exclude projects` pls pls no more projects. i dread the thought of projects coming in & piling up *siighhs* hopefully everything goes smoothly & yes i shall console myself to make myself happy (= no point making myself upset knowing nothing can be done.. all i can do is to hope for a miracle. typical me` forever in my twinkle dreams. lalala. oh great its the 2nd day since my 'nanny' visited me & i was caught unaware yday - luckily alison has got 'bread' & she saved my day **tankies girl (= its giving me hell loadsa prob. damn. how sickening can it be` its not just the cramps but its affecting my spine & hips. hopefully it doesnt get so bad. urgh. dun understand why is mine so diff frm others? clever me forgotten that i'm having my nanny landed up drinking cold lemon - which of coz adds more pain. whatever` thou its torturous but i love inflicting pain onto myself. crazy? yes i am. am gona rush home tml for i've got my yoga class at 63o. i could just go straight frm sch without having to rush but i'm lazy to bring all my stuffs out & i dun wana add more weight to my bag. meeting my darling one too or shud i say we'll be meeting almost every week. nothing beats meeting her (= alrighta shall stop my blabberings. suddenly i feel sick of many things.(maybe i shud just delete my blog` yeah yeah i must be b.s-ing) & i must admit today's entries are shit which is true coz it doesnt make sense & shit out of the shittiest` seriously i've no idea what am i blogging abt. i just feel shit. can't figure out what to do with the shittiest so i decided to blog a shitty entry to get rid of the shitty shit outta me. i duno why but i feel so lost` there are many things going thru my mind but i can't seem to figure it out & at the mean time finding a solution to solve it + getting rid of it. sometimes i dun understand what is the beauty of life when things are so complicated. whatever. *siighhs* its been ages since i last heard frm my bro + talked to him & i miss him loads` i wonder how is he doing at HK. hopefully everything is going on smoothly & he's doing well for his studies. i guess he must be happier over there & i'm happy for him...

was browsing thru the stuffs in my com

and i found dis dat my bro captured in NZ..

some day i believe i'll be there..

screaming my heart out

breathing in the fresh air

enjoying the beautiful scenery

and most importantly..

free from troubles & pain

will you catch her when she falls ;

Currently playing :

Jay Z & Linkin Park - Numb

a pathetic 10bucks to last me for dis coming wk & i doubt its enuff. damn. i just realised i nid ta top up my ez-link. man dis can't be happeninggg` gotta dig thru my drawers & check if i've got money. hopefully dd will be able to send & fetch me home frm sch everyday. dat way i'll be able to last thruout the whole wk till next month. was talking to mummy abt $$ issues` nope i din ask her for money but she was asking why is my cash draining out so fast & how come so fast so broke// shits. oh well` hopefully by next wk i'll be able to get my allowance otherwise DIE!! but i doubt so coz mummy dun put money till the 2nd wk of the month. siaoos man. - _ -"' yah la i know i dun nid to go thru dis shit` just open my mouth able to get what i want but really i dun wan it to be dis way. i dun wan to continue being a pampered & spoilt child. sometimes i must torture myself so dat i'll be able to learn the value of life and the importance of money. call me crazy - yes i am. haha. today's entry will be long so pls pardon me (=

surprisingly i woke up early on a sunday morn to attend YOGA lesson @ Pacific Plaza instead of rotting on my bed wandering in my twinkle dreams. lolls. unbelievable eh` i'm so proud of myself (= after so long i finally manage to have time off for YOGA & i went with my darling one. my oh my` how long has it been since i last went for my boxing & yoga classes or to the gym. one year? yes abt a year` blady long. and yeah its disgusting when ur tone muscles bcum flabs. i'm not being lazy but seriously aint NO time okay. look at my last sem schedule. fcuking tight & hectic. i must admit the outcome aint good la. my bones aint as flexible as it used to be` cnt bend much like before.. i was lyk "aiiieee yikes" when the instructor made & pushed me to bend lower. lolls. its crazy & u noe dere's dis old lady.. she's such a PRO. i must salute her man. her yoga` woahh power. she can blady bend her bone so much & freaking flexible` she amazes me so much so dat i see already feel like digging a hole & hide in dere. lolls. alrighty frm now on i'm gona do some construction work. uhuh nono not dose balagh u see out dere & its not a need for me to snatch their rice bowl. i'm gona try & change my life (= this isnt so me eh` lolls. me talking rots? uhuh. nono i'm not & i'm not dose who just talk but no action. i know it wun be easy & will be difficult in the beginning but no way am i gona give up hope` i wun suscumb to failure without trying. time may not allow me to do so but i'm all set to race against it. i've already done it last sem wad more abt dis sem.

1 - cut down on clubbing

dun laugh okay` its hard but i'll try` and yeah i said cut down but not quit. so clubbing once a month aint a sin right? lolls. anyway i'm doing dis for the sake of myself & my health + i know my dd is upset & aint comfortable with the fact of me going clubbing. who ask me to be a dd's girl. so pls dun tempt me into going clubbing & sorry Glen if i can't continue to club with u often thou being ur clubbing khakhi is so fun. lolls.

2 - revitalise on my beauty sleep

its terrible & i really nid to catch up my sleep like sleeping beauty. if only i can have that amount of time. i'm starting to freak myself out for my eyebags are getting horrible & worse. i wish i could sleep early every night & quit being a zombie but its kinda difficult for it seems as thou i'm suffering frm insomia & i hate the fact whereby ppl calling me in the middle of the night.

3 - diet diet diet

how much more can i avoid & not eat when i already do not eat much stuffs. whatever` i'll continue changing my diet. lolls & no worries i wun skip my meal. its bad for tummy & i've already got problem` dun wana land up in hospital. whatever it is i dun like the way i'm now`

oh yeahh` its back to stupid sch tml with a new semester to begin with & 5 new modules. how great can that be & with a new grpies. oh HALLELUJAH life is such a "BLESSING". urgh. fcuk the shit of the shittiness. faster faster my precious time. tick away with all ur might and end my misery. lolls. nbr mnd` tolerate jac. 3 monthhs it'll be over.. i rather suffer now & have a smooth journey in life den to suffer later. heard of the chinese saying 'xian ku hou tian'? haha. (**the CK sister >> dun tink i eat potato duno chinese okay (= *smiles gleefully) oh yeahh wana know a secret? i'm SO SO SO IN LOVE.. wana know who? my NEW GRPIES larhs. get wad i mean? HUH. no? u mean i say till NOT obvious & precise enuff? okay den` dun say i mean coz u dun get wad i mean besides i dun act & lie.. I DISLIKE MY NEW GRP MATES!!!!! & NOOOOOO i dun adorreeeee working with them. *sobbs* farewell my lovely grp mates. oh i remembered. i must blog cautiously & becareful of what i blog for i dun wana be sued. lolls. whatever` i've enuff taste of PORKS during my attachment & i aint NO FAN of PORKIES + i'm an anti PORK CHOPS. dun tink u can SNORT & wringle that stupid curly tail means BIG DEAL// PORKIES are of NO VALUE for they are LAZYYY except for a few... oh well` just dun provoke me - dun believe eh.. TRY ME// i swear i'll try ways & means to CHOP u PORKIES. fcuk the shit.. my entries too much to handle? ur problem not mine. i'm not here to please anyone but myself.

seriously i dun know how to start for its kinda confusing but all i can say is that feelings that was once dere will not be back again. although nothing happened as it was unknown but once it has faded away it'll no longer be back again & i must say it aint easy to get over it. no doubt we've not been talking for so long & right now everything seems like before but things aint the same anymore for it has changed & its different now. things that could happen are now impossible to happen for everything is numbed & freezed.

the walls embedded in me are for protection

it'll only be down when i want it to

right now` i dun need anything

for i am happy with the way i am

ppl can say whatever dey want

try hard to persuade / influence my thinking

but it will not influence me..

for its me myself..

who leads the life i want it to be

will you catch her when she falls ;

*yawns* i'm boreddd right now at this point of time. wad else can i do bside blogging. someone pls entertain me? damn. trust me to fall ill when i'm having my 1 wk break. urgh! so pek cek. i wana go shopppiiinnggg but how to go in dis freaky state. feeling better den yday but still unwell` fever subsided a lil & my appetite aint better + my tummy still hurts. its gd for me anyway. haha. i know i'm crazy; thou its suffering at least i'm able to lose weight. i just dun get it` why do i always fall sick every month? =/ hmms. clever me initially wanted to keep my illness frm my parents but it was such an unbearable moment dat i've to let my dd know. lolls. tink dd was kinda worried for he tot i might have gotten dengue. lolls. went to see the doc & doc says i've got tummy flu - _ - gave me loadsa pills & i've forgotten wad pills are dose. in the end i only ate one type for fever & headache. cant remember which one was for vomiting so i din eat the rest. din had my meals till dinner time` mummy cooked mee sua with fish & forced me to eat. told her i've no appetite & she nagged at me. got no choice but to force myself// aint no wonder why` kept sleeping the whole of yday & just cudnt open my eyes. mummy woke me up at night to pass me the phone. tot was my bro *siighhs* but it was clownie(sorry yeah got no energy to talk to ya yday) haiis. sian 1/2 spoilt my fcuking thurs night just lyk dat` =/ was half aslp when marmie nagged at me dis morn & says i've always been keeping late night & coming home late dats why i'm in dis state - _ - oh well.. din hear the rest for i wandered into my twinkle dreams. lolls. finally i'm able to have my beauty slp but mummy kept calling to make sure i eat & in the end i had to wake up. (-.o) she cooked porridge & promfret + kailan for me. din wana eat but dere was loads of food on the table & i'll feel guilty if i let her effort go to waste` ate a lil & yes i puked again - _ - hopefully i'll recover by tml for i wana meet my darling cuzzie & i guess i wun be able to club for i'll be slaughtered by my parents badly as i'm sick. hmms. days are passing pretty fast & its back to sch next wk. i just can't wait for the days to pass faster den i'll have my 1 month holidays =) yeah i know i'm crazy haben finish my next sem already tinking of 1 month break. who cares. haha. oh boyy` i really really pray hard & cross my finger for the project grping for dis time round the grping really sucks. urgh. why can't we choose who we wana wrk with? damn. anyway i aint afraid to SAY OUT LOUD here dat most of the FIRST half of the register really CMI & yeah check out the register if ur so interested to find out. it'll be so shittified if i get a BAD deal & yes dun ever or even tink u can play punk with me coz i wun even give a damn if u cross my limit & i'll show u attitude if u show me urs. dun believe? try me. and really when it comes to work i'll get serious i'll even be heartless to strike out ur name if u dun contribute a shit. lalalas//

// cks snap shots - at ocbc ]]

// ck chilling session - at kbox ]]

will you catch her when she falls ;

ahhhh. i feel fcuking sick right now` feel as thou i'm dying. can't take it further. i only had 3 hrs of slp & should be continue slping but the churning effect + sharp pain interupted my slp & made me feel worst. urgh. just ate some medicine & it aint helping much. been visiting my washroom countless of time to puke & my tummy been giving me sharp pain like needle effect. i feel so weak now. aint no idea wad happen. i seriously doubt its hang over for i din even drink much except for afew sips of vodka lime during dinner & i nbr even drink at Black & at kbox even thou we ordered vodka.

// off to puke again :(

seems as thou i'm gona black out sooner or later. haha. seems like i'm exaggerating but really the feeling sucks & aint a joke to keep puking continuously *siighhs* doubt i'll get any better later in th day & sorry girls + sarah dottie if i can't club tonight =/ lost my appetite as well & i doubt i'm able to swallow any food for i've the feeling i'll puke if i try to eat. unfortunately, its so fabulously great as i realised my parents aint wrking today(& i wonder why). doubt i can skip my meals when they are ard so dat means my toilet will be my fav hangout place of the day cum best fren. besides i seriously tink its not a wise & gd idea to tell dem i feel so sick coz i'll get K***ED so badly - _ -

shall update another time when i'm better & have the time + pics

and yes. damn that fcuker asshole

fcuk the compassion if he ever have (any)

fcuking shit with an unreasonable fcuking moronic head

i know i'm kinda mean if i say out the next line by cursing..

i seriously DO hope he loses lots of revenue & make a loss

and its so blady true that guys are jerks & forever meant to be one

seriously dun come or even try to offend/provoke me for i'll blady & badly start cursing u

will you catch her when she falls ;

//look at the time. *yawns* am tired. shall have my beauty sleep -&- my twinkle dreams after i blog (= have been going out lately eversince the end of exams. DE-STRESS u noe. lolls. lalalas. now that i've got the time gotta make full use of it otherwise when sch starts dere aint much chance to do so.

went out almost the whole day today` met up with deline at Sengkang Compass Point to cut our hair @ SuperCuts. (opps =X sorry deline for being LATE!) i really CUT my hair dis time round and not just TRIM! so its worth my $$ (unlike the previous incident) snip snip & tadaa its gone. haha. frm below shoulder length to shoulder length. it feels so light & thinner now (= din take a pic of myself coz i have no urge to do dat & bsides i dun have the card reader with me. gona buy it when i have the $$. i'm freaking poor right now but not to the extend to bcum a beggar. hmm. shall scrimp & save as i wana do hair treatment next wk` & i'll have to save 1oo+ *siighhs* but tink not enuff also coz my bank got no blue notes. the feeling sucks when u've shortage of $$ for ur deprived of loadsa things. *siighhs* headed to town to meet up with glen & reb + deeg. went shopping together with dem` bought accessories & birthday bearie` haha! shall whack my shopping another day & declare bankrupt. haha. i guess the days ahead will be a slice of bread & h2o. sounds pathetic? its okay with me anyway for i aint a food lover. had chix rice @ Far East for dinner. its darn unhealthy coz i suspect dey added loadsa MSG but its okay as i haben ate chix rice for months besides i went home & drank green tea to wash away the oil. lolls` and yeah tankies deeg for the meal (=

went amelia's place yday to complete our F.O project` almost spent our whole day dere as we started frm 13o till 7+...

... and yes its finally done - after 2 days of hardwork
taa daa` our completed F.O project (=

simply love our DVD whereby we had our video capturing` so happening & beautiful. too bad cant show u guys how the contents look like. anyway i would really really like to tankies everyone in my group (alison, amelia, baby, deline, fidah & reb)` really appreciate everyone's hardwork & effort. without u guys the job wudnt be complete & i must say our group have been blessed for having such lovely members & yes i'm speaking frm the bottom of my heart ks. lastly i hereby apologised if dere's any conflicts or misunderstandings that happened during our projects & if i din fulfil my job as a leader well. *muahhs* tankies babes! (=

guess i wun be blogging for the next few days as i wun be home dat often. thou we haben been talking much but i noe dey aint pleased with the fact of me going out so often but nbr mnd` i shall not say a thing. its just for dis wk & i really nid to de-stress. my day is gona be burnt out tml & wun be home till the following day` going for my interview in the early noon & after dat meeting amelia in town to company her for shopping followed by dinner @ OCBC for Ad's belated Bday. later on maybe KBox & CocoLatte with glen & abbie` Thurs night - Dbl O & Momo. oh man` gotta revitalise my beauty sleep otherwise i'll be a complete zombie. (-.-)

many things have been happening lately & i duno why` shall not elaborate further. *siighhs* i guess i shud start praying & seek for god's blessings. maybe its god doings for making me go through these obstacles - for me to realise that its time to commit into my religion. afterall after every obstacles faced there will be a beautiful rainbow & life is never smooth sailing for there will always be obstacles obstructing our journey of life... which will make life even meaningful & to be strong. whatever it is no matter how tough it is i'll continue to be strong & will not fall for i've faith in myself.

/[ Snap shots of last sat - Glen & i ]\

will you catch her when she falls ;

its sunday` and i never like sundays thou its a day for me to rot (: woke up kinda early thou i slept at 8 in the morn. aint no wonder why` guess my body has got a weird system.

went to drown my sorrows away yday & i guess it made me feel much better for now thou i know it'll be back to taunt me. i'll just let the problems diminish by itself. was suppose to go out today but i'm kinda nua & just feel like lying on my bed. lolls` (am so sorry abt it :x)

went out with my puffy eyes yday` luckily it wasnt dat bad. walked ard in cine & in search of Cheryl(my bro gf) pressie while waiting for Glen to arrive. had a sudden attack of tummy pain. urgh! its terrible but tankies g0d it did not stay for long. i suspect there's sumthing wrong with my tummy but heck it. accompanied Glen to LJS for her dinner & Alicia dropped by as she was catching a movie. clubbing last night was soooooo happening(right glen?) lolls. walked over to Tumble @ Goodwood Park & was in half mind whether to go in for age limit is 21 for ladies. in the end we decided not to go & decided to head to Devil's. oh yes something "'happening"" happened before heading to Tumble. Glen & i almost got "attacked" by 2 disgusting BAPOHS at Scotts - near body shop & we freaked out as they were coming to approach us. phew. darn scary can - _ -"' reached Devil's and we were in half mind again in the end we decided to take a cab down to Liquid Room. lolls. opps =X gona get slaughtered by the 2 guys if they read this for dey told us not to go. lolls. cover charge was 2o bucks for 2 standard drinks(the drinks really CMI) its r & b infused with hip hop. not dat bad but not say vv happening. saw Liyi, Eunice + the rest` aint close to them also. they came to support the Hiphop competition` no wonder dere were so many hippies. haha. headed to MoMo @ 13o for its r & b. lolls. was fun & Fad was working yday. saw Sylvia's bf with his frens & later on Vivien, Andrew, Martin, Audrey, Lester & his gf. Andrew was drunk & Martin was high. lolls. wasnt high yday as i din drink much. and yes i aint a ~~chiongster~~ okay (:

am heading to Amelia's place tml to final touch up our F.O project. am wondering what shall i do after that` should i go down to SSDC or for my shopping spree with a pathetic of 90 bucks left in my acct. damn. i doubt its enuff as i've got plenty of stuffs to buy + i wana cut my hair again. i seriously need a job badly dun wana use my parents money. shud i contact that guy and arrange for an interview & work at Ben's & Jerry's in United Square? hmms. (-.o)

[[ glenda ]] >> whheee. tankies for the company & partying with u was fun but really siao man. lolls. why do we always encounter such weird shit whenever the both of us go clubbing? i think next time we must standby our keys, hp or any sharp objects sia. LOLS.

+ those who showed their concern for me + >> i know who u are but am lazy to type ur names out but u shud noe who u are. at least i know that i did not make a mistake or a wrong judgement of having u guys as my gd frens & buddy. in fact u made me realise that i'm not alone for u'll be dere to listen to my sorrows thou i know i'll not confide to u guys (unless its really off limit) tankies for the concern ur have showed for me am really appreciative of it. dun worry alrights i'm feeling better for now.

:.adianna.: >> i know u might not read this or even my blog but cheer up okay. don't worry i'm sure everything will be alright & after every rocky mountains there'll be a beautiful rainbow (: just imagine ur out in the sea fighting against the terrible current & think of ways of how to overcome the current but not let ur boat capsize (: remember i'll always be here` anytime u need help i'll be here for u. dun have to thank me k` what are buddies for right? in fact we're equals isnt it? haha. am really glad to have u as my buddy (:

// Linggg >> oh man u duno how much i miss u. faster la ur exam over den can meet u already. *siighhs* stupid man why dun our timing clash together` urgh! =/ guess wad i lost the bracelet dat we bought together at bugis - damn heart pain la *sobs* oh yes come & stay with me when ur parents go to chheeena k (: & dun tink of working at that place la. not safe` if u want to work come with me and we can go together for the B & J interview den we can work together if we're accepted. lolls. lucks for ur exam *hugs*

** Happy Birthday ass. Haha. i see u have reached the number 2 and ur no longer young but olldddd. haha` ;P

Lastly, good luck & all the best to those who are having their exams this week. Happy mugging & may the force be with ya.

will you catch her when she falls ;

my brother told my mum..

i'm not bothered by anything

with no sorrows within me

no problems to worry of

and i've got the happiness in me

if i've got the chance

i'll tell him that it isnt true

what he sees is just the surface of me

and beyond the surface`

its a different thing

i simply can't take it anymore

on the verge of becoming a mental case

everything is so wrong right now

i do not know whats wrong with me

i'm just not being myself

i'm depressed right now

..hopefully i do not go into depression mode again

all i know is..

the pain in me is simply unbearable

suffering silently

trying to be strong all the time

suspressing all my emotions

tears rolled down continuously

and i finally broke down - silently

i'm so sick. sick and tired of everything

being strong all the times

keeping the emotions within me

i'm on the verge of giving up

..but can i?

when can i not be a clown.

i hate being one. its tiring

can i for once not behave as thou nothing is wrong

can i not force myself to be happy when i;m not

is there anyone whom i can truely confide in

can i place my trust on people again?

my parents.

no doubt they dote on me

providing the best they could for me

giving in whatever i want

but do they truly understand me?

so what if they provide me loads of stuffs`

will that make me happy?

all i want is for them to understand me

but why is it so hard`

are gd grades really important?

is that all they ever ask for & see in life

do they actually know its presurising

i miss my brother. i really do

i wish i could confide to him

right now` at this moment.

i hate myself` i really do

why do i always have to suffer in pain

why do i have so much problems

when can i actually be care free

if one day i die of heart attack

i wouldnt die in pain

..but a peaceful smile on my face

if only i could shut myself out of reality

i'm off`

..off to drown my sorrows

will you catch her when she falls ;

:: her exam mood - *siighs* ::

her little thoughts?

humph` will i be able to pass or will i screw it?

lalala. yes i know i shudnt be blogging but mugging when its the first day of exam but since tml's paper is english & am clueless of what to study, i shall post a short entry before i mug the other subs. oh well. its 'GEEKY' week this week apparently not my favourite week of the month. lolls. simply to say its a K I L L E R ! who wud want to be a fan of the books fancy drowning urself into a pool of words. "oh little squirmy wormie here comes ur companion = books"

as you can see we just sat for our tourism paper. and yes it was a KILLER no doubt about that. i did mug for it but still the knowledge of it cnt be absorbed... *siighhs* dun remind me of it. whats done been done` hopefully i'll be able to pass & i no longer set a target for myself for i dun wana be disappointed thou i'm always disappointed with the way things turn out to be. blah. i just can't wait for my hollliidayyyss. i want a BREAK...

...TO BE CONTINUED

/[ A N N O U N C E M E N T ]\

*Adrian >> Happy Birthday Buddy ! May all ur wishes come true yeah. haha. oh yeahh u can't do anything to me for announcing ur bday in my blog coz i know u dun read my blog. neehhhs ;P LOLS!

*FAD >> ohh yeahh u horny lil ass i know ur reading dis so open ur eyes (O-O) i'm so gona GET BACK at u if u try to be funny with me & i'll SLAP & PINCH that damn ASS of urs if u have the evil thought of whacking my butt again. BOO! LOLS!

will you catch her when she falls ;

i think i'm on the verge of going insane and breaking down. i seriously do not know what is happening and wrong with me. everything seems.. ~~so wrong~~. god damn wrong. this isnt me. i know it myself. leave me alone and let me be for i need to do some thinking. maybe i should start meditating - to clear my mind. *siighs* perhaps its the ~~demon~~ that starts controlling and empowering its authority. leaving me all screwed and cranked up. slowly becoming a lunatic & ~~getting rid~~ of the sane` telling me to do things that are not right - leading me to the wrong way. guardian angel where art thou. i need you - ur angelic wings to cover and protect me from the ~~evil~~. i'm lost. really lost. i do not know why are things turning out this way` dun ask me whats wrong for i am confused and unsure of whats happening. i hate ~~reality~~. yes i do. it sucks. i hate time. yes i do for i'm always racing and fighting against time. if only the clock could stop ticking. letting all the problems come to a halt and not being burried with my sorrows. urgh damn! i ~~hate~~ everything right now` at this point of time. i just want everything to be over. god please grant me a miracle. i need one badly.

do not visit my blog for i wun be updating for the upcoming week.

W H Y ?

BLOODY

SHITTIFIED

EXAMS ! (-.-)

will you catch her when she falls ;

havent been blogging lately. been really busy. am exhausted right now & i'm supposed to be sleeping but yet i couldnt close my eyes. home at 6 & had my shower. at least i smell nice right now unlike just now - totally stink. club hop to phuture & momo again together with Glen, Abijah, Amelia & her 2 cousins. someone was supposed to join us but in the end she din turn up. shall not mention who so as to protect people's identity. afterall i aint dat mean to expose ppl's identity. phuture was SIMPLY great & fun while momo was alrights(din really played much of r&b) took loadsa pic too. shall upload when glen passes me the pics. drank peach snap & baileys @ phuture, B52 & tequila shot @ momo. my favourites spec baileys & B52 (: din drink much & wasnt high. i guess i was super high last wk for i was feeling darn emo & lack of slp. haha. in the end its left with Glen & i again for abbie & amelia left early. had great time with the CKs. yup no more clubbing as for now. gona stop going out & start my mugging machine soon for exams in 2 weeks time & i've yet to touch a single shit. can't afford to do badly. oh great i'm about to go broke soon thou mummy just gave me my allowance. can't figure out why is my money almost gone when its just the starting of the month. damn. hopefully she doesnt find out otherwise she'll freak out. oh man i seriously need a JOB badly. i need money! i know even if i'm broke i cud just ask frm my parents & dey'll give it to me but i dun want it that way. *yawns* oh shit i tink my tummy is growling. din really had proper meal for i had vegetarian noodle(brunch), almond longan(lunch) & corn soup(dinner) yday. opps =X no wonder my tummy aint happy with me right now. oh shuddup & be gd i'll feed u later on. dd & mummy will be back in the night frm HK. no more home alone part 4 as they kicked me out of the cast. lols. okay thats lame. okay i'm gona stop. shall blog again` my eyes are demanding me to stop typing right now by showing tantrum by shutting my eyes. nites all - urh no i think its morning but whatever coz i'm gona sleep.

will you catch her when she falls ;

@ 2:30 AM

lalalas. no more home alone. hmm. although its kinda lonely & not used to being home alone but i'm starting to miss being a home alone. lolls. how contradicting. blahs. dd & mummy bought many stuffs for me as well as my brother. Items like - jacket(its pink), addidas shoe, clothes, tumbler, etc.. Tankies so muchie esp my bro! love it loads *muacks* being a gd girl today or shud i say piggy. haha. stayed at home the whole day or shud i say have been sleeping the whole day till 9+ met up with glenda & fad - headed to bishan. alrights enuff of my shit. gotta upload what i shall upload asap for i need to sleep. damn tired thou i slept like a pigsy today (-.O)

// 27o8o5 :: snappies @ phuture ladies \\
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

+ o2o9o5 :: the CKs additional 3 newbies +

[ o2o9o5 :: ladies night out @ momo ]

:: snappie for a funny shot ::

- how retarded can i get` lolls -

/her trying to lick abbie ;P

how puffy can our cheeks be - puffy cheeks

chilling at 'oh cafe' - outside momo
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

* d - versus - j *

its a funny thing when ppl says u look lyk someone

SIAOS !
I LOOK LIKE HER MEHS (-.-)

i'm wondering & am curious
in what way do i look abit lyk Daph of S.Idol?
coz i dun tink i look like her ah..

any comments? tag my board.

Events for o4o9o5 - Sunday

Happy Birthday to sarah dottie

*marmie - to - dottie*

may all ur wishes come true

one year older = a year wiser

marmie love ya loads

& i believe u'll continue to be strong

*muacks*

Happy Birthday to my granny

its my ahma bday & am celebrating later in the noon. another year has passed & am really glad to know she's still with us. its a blessing to have her with us each year; it aches to know that she has to endure the pains & sufferings. haben been visiting her due to my busy schedule but her presence means alot to me for i love my granny till bits. i aint no idea what will happen for i can't predict anything. all i know is that.. every moment time spent with her will always be cherished & treasured till the end

alrights. i'm finally done with my updates of pics. time for my beauty sleep. shall update when i'm free/

will you catch her when she falls ;