when the mind feels uncertained, the heart seemed unclear

have been feeling rather lethagic cum tired hence not been updating for almost a week. been deprived of my beauty sleep ever since weds? and my eye bags getting worse - its time to do something abt it. LOLS. so shits` been like a zombie since den. been having difficulty waking up thus overslept continuously. damn shittos as i had to rush like hellll =/school's the same old usual routine - nbr happening & forever boring. had 2 tests on Thurs - PMS & Geography. tried mugging for my geography on wed's nite but soon gave up as i've clueless idea abt it. anyone willing to help meee? (= guess dis sem i'm gona be so DEAD. aint a geography person plus i'm a blur shit so asking me to see the atlas is like crazy` final conclusion; geography is a total greek to me & it bores me like hell! PMS was easy & as Geography needless to say` i screwed it - badly. giving all tikam answers & not filling up the maps. lolls. its not as thou i do not know where the destinations are - i know the places but just do not know where to locate it. haha. whatever` headed to little india for our 2nd ctis. overall was alright` saw afew fascinating stuffs. lolls. did threading with glen & boyy does it hurt. food portion was huge & as usual couldnt finish up.

aint terrible as i thought its gona be for normally dey have got a strong smell dat makes me wana puke. headed down to oasis boardgame cafe with Glen, Abbie, Alison & CWei.

had fun & we left ard 11+ by the time i reached home was already 12 & was slightly drenched in the rain. dd asked why din i ask him to fetch me home & i told him i din wan bother him. haha` what a lovely dd i have dats why i love him loads! (= immediately went home after sch on fri for i was f reaking god damn tired & really felt like a zombie = CMI. slept till late evening. went to town to get my script from Samantha & off to shaw house with James. wanted to catch "the wig" but it aint showing anymore )= in the end we watched the 945pm 'All About Love' featuring Andy Lau. damn crap sia` overall 2.5/5 so peeps dun waste ur $$ on that show. went over to cine to wait for Glen & bumped into Danny.

stupid him say i bias go out with James dun wan go out with him. lolls. whatever. headed to Alley Bar together with Glen. can u imagine 2 ladies getting emo together over their mango magaritas ? lolls. slacked there till at the last min we headed off to momo. tankies to Abel who signed us in` saw Kelvin there too. stayed awhile & left ard 3+ for we aint in the mood to club. LOLS. how lame can we get. [tankies glen for the ride home (= ] was at home almost the whole of saturday. when ur freaking broke its best to stay at home & be emo. haha. i need money - i wana buy my project shop bag!! *siighhs* went for my yoga in the evening` kicking & boxing as much as i could to get rid of all the junks i ate for the past few days. my parents came to pick me up & we headed to the club together with Cheryl to celebrate dd's chinese bday thou his actual bday on sun. been ages since i went dere. lolls. had chinese cuisine & had quality in it. wonder how much mummy paid for it. sometimes we dun have to go to any extravagant place to clebrate. what matters most is that everyone gets together & be happy.

mummy has left for Taipei with my aunts early dis morn. din send her to the airport as dd going to play golf. kinda miss her now` it seems as thou something is amiss. probably i aint used to not hearing her voice. LOLS. hope she enjoys herself to the max. was suppose to head to somerset to rehearse my script but decided to give it a miss. - _ - *yawns* perhaps i shud MIA again & let them kick me out. haha. oopps =X going on a date with my dd later (= gona bring him for dinner & dis time round its gona be me treating him. a birthday treat from me. haben decide on the location but nahh i aint gona treat him any simple meal. i know i'm god damn broke but anything for my dd i'll try means & ways to get/do it. can't blame for i'm my dd's little girl. haha. and yeahh Happy Birthday Dd ! *mmuahhs* oh yes siimplyy cant wait for next week. 2 PHs. whooo` its party time with my sweetiies (= still deciding whether i shud go for halloween night on monday. guess i might give it a miss thou it seems happening` gotta spend time with my dd & not let him be alone at home.. (= if u noticed i've made a little changes in my blog. seems emo eh. haha` but ii likeeee. no worries i'm not suffering from any depression neither am i going thru any emo situations unless being emo of not having enufff $$ counts. haha. before i forget tankiies amelia for teaching me to upload my songs in angelfire (=

LOLS. what on earth is ad trying to do?

trying to be lame again stuffing the waffle stick into his mouth.

will you catch her when she falls ;

the bug has gotten me & am sick again` been falling sick like every month without fail. urgh! wonder whats happening to my immune system. oh well` whatever. changed of voice or rather voiceless? & having flu right now. this is so great =/ went yoga early morn with darling one & later on met mummy @ town. did some shopping` tankies mummy for helping me pay my brasserie =X & yeah i bought accessories[using my own $ dis time round] (= with more ear-ringggs & other stuffs. simply lovely` whhee. but dat spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E ! coz i'm so fc*king BROKE now. lolls. shittos. *siighhs* oh boy` jaclyn u better stop buying ear rings. have got 42 ear rings on hand. doubt i'll be able to wear dem all. lolls. ;P yippee. dd is finally back home today (= silly me` mistook the day dd came back. tot he was coming home yday but its actually today and i landed up staying at home yday *yawns* surprisingly eh. haha. so unlike me. (x-x)

darling one's at my place now & is staying over tonight. made muffins together` lolls. so happeninggg ! banana muffins *yummy yums//drroolls*

mummy told me something peculiar & upon hearing it makes me feel eerie. my aunts & uncle came to my place last night & left ard 1+ 2? something happened upon taking the lift. guess what. my aunt told my mummy that the buttons of the lift were all lighted up` however it didnt stop at every level when its suppose to. den it STOPPED at 16th floor when its not suppose to for my lift only enables access to the ground floor, level 20-40th floor. why would it open at the 16th floor? isnt it strange? later on when it reached the ground floor one of my aunt saw dis lady & she diminished darn fast. eeekks. its so creepy` i'm freaking out. now dat i heard dis frm my mama i dare not go home alone unless someone sends me back. oh man` its like my home just built 5 months back & now such things happen. *goosebumps* was supposed to go down town yday to attend my stuffs but did not as i wasnt well [*sorry james` lolls. dun be angry la =X] . mummy bought home pepper crabs & my aunts came` its crazy when they get together - can nbr imagine the outcome. tot i was the only insane kid at home but nahh i was wrong. haha. and yes imagine me with a bad voice eating pepper crab = ? lolls. okay i better shuddup before someone butter me up. upcoming week = test test tests with PMS, Sales, Tourism Geography & English` guess its time to mug. (x-x) friday clubbing @ zouk - was superlicious fun (= not much of a changes after the renovation. tankies to sarah dottie's fren dat we managed to get in early. night out with Glenda, Sarah dottie, Amelia, Joan(opps. did i get her name correctly - STM), Vivien, Priscilla and together with Glen's friends Tiancai & Zhongyi + got to know Curtis as well. he's such a friendly guy. haha. not forgetting mark who accompanied thru out the night thou his frens were dere (= needless to say had great time with the girls again` getting all high & crazy + dancing continuously. lolls. had 3 Tequila Shots, 1 jug Peach Snap, 1 jug Vodka Ribena & 1 jug Apricot Brandy. drank frigging fast & there it goes the kick came getting freaking high but yet not drunk. lolls. [*tankies peeps for looking after us] off i went to the ladies puking all out together with my dinner & i felt much better after dat. lolls. [*tankies ame for accompanying me back to the ladies] was raining when we left ard 4+ & tankies kenneth for the ride home (=

Before Clubbing

@ Zouk - Phuture

Back to my cosy homiie

lolls. yes thats how tired i looked` (-.o) lalala.

ahhh so sad. pinky dixie died yday by commiting suicide at my lift *sobs* there it goes` off 36th floor till the ground floor. may it RIP. lolls. any kind soul willing to buy me my pinky dixie again & revive his death? LOLS. blahh. i'm crapping again

will you catch her when she falls ;

nothing happening lately. school has always been the same - boring. left sch a lil earlier on monday as i've got my doc appointment at nuh. they drew blood to test again & i'm sick of it. seeing needles & syringes makes me feel sick - making me fainty & feel like puking. yes i know drawing of blood no big deal but if ur in my shoes its a different thing. i'm not born out being 1oo% healthy like others. my life is way too precious & its worth more than others. aint gona digress further as i dun see a need to. not everything are meant to be said & expressed out. took a cab to sch yday for i overslept` there goes my 8bucks. lolls. whatever. went to geylang serai yday for ctis outing. was slightly drenched as it was raining. [*tankies to those to organised the trips & i know it isnt easy to organize such outings] headed to town to catch the 93opm deuce giggalo at cine with the lovely cks. was hilarious & was laughing non stop. overall 3/5 ratings. bought another pair of ear rings again. headed to oasis board game cafe & chilled there. the owner had great hospitality - letting us stay till 2 when it closes at 12. played mind game & had fun`

we took a pic together(with courtesy of the owner's help) before we left & i sure do look god damn shag` one look at the pic & u could tell. lolls. my brains were like practically dead & i'm in the midst of going sleeping mode. haha.

slept awhile in glen's little fit while on the way to prata house off thomson road. was in a daze when i woke up. lolls. ate our supper & slack till 4+ before heading home. couldnt sleep after my shower & could only get in touch with my twinkle dreams by 6.

humans are a funny thing & its hard understanding them. no doubt humans are selfish & wanting everything to go their way. if it doesnt meet to their eye or should anyone retaliate back they will start making a big hoohaa & showing attitude. seriously i don't understand whats the problem with the ppl around nowadays. i do not know who started the whole shit but really what benefit do u get by adding salt & pepper & pinpointing ppl of what they did not do & aint guilty of. does seeing or making ppl becoming a scapegoat pleases u? if thats the case ur freaking sick in the mind & i suggest u better go & see a pysciatrist. dun be gleeful by the actions u have done for u'll get ur retributions. it doesnt hurt to accuse an innocent party getting them into shit but what do u gain by doing that. instinct tells me that certain ppl aint happy when i left early on monday when the board states to stay back after class` but what can i possibly do when i've to rush for my doc appointment. excuse me dun gimme dat kinda sucky attitude when i'm not in the wrong. its not as thou i did it on purpose & playing punk(as if i've nothing better to do) furthermore i dun tink i'm obliged to listen to u. at this point of time i cant stand a particular person behaviour. who do u tink u are. stop showing & throwing ur attitude around. there's a limit to everything & i suggest u better put a stop to ur actions before things get worse. seeing ur screwed up face spoils ppl's mood. dun come and act // desperately try to be an angel when u cant be one` its disgusting. seriously i dun care abt how ppl think abt me. they can say whatever they want for it wun hurt me. this is the way i am` if ur not happy with it thats ur problem. i'm just being who i am & i dun see a need to please everyone. aint gona be nice to ppl. being nice to ppl doesnt pay off for eventually u'll be the one losing. does ppl even appreciate or do they just take advantage of u coz ur being nice to them. i realized one thing being in this industry, u'll struggle like hell or might not even survive if ur too nice. its better to protect ur own ass first.

as what i promised i would upload the pics that i took at sentosa.

back to the oldies era ?

listen up` it states chinese. get it?

..and of coz not forgetting the snap shots at momo last saturday with my sweetiies (:

took me awhile to get this pics done. *yawns* feeling extremely nua perhaps its bcoz i came home late & slept early dis morn. no school today as its graduation day (: *siighhs* my freaking tummy's giving me prob again & no its not my nanny or having the urge to shit. aint no idea whats happening. urgh! the end of my gums hurt too. feels as thou there's teeth growing out & pls dun let my wisdom tooth be out yet for its gona be so darn painful. the best thing is i've got 4 of it. yikes! my brother just extracted his 4months back & he was like in pain with blood flowing out continuously. eeks seems freaking painful & terrible - _ - dd is coming back in 2 days time & after that mummy's leaving for taipei. one return & the other one depart. how amazing` haha. my bro msned me just now & he's going tibet tml for mountain climbing. after so long we finally sort of talked. concern & worried abt me staying out late in the night & asking me to cut down. *siighhs*

*kor >> perhaps u do read my blog without me knowing. whatever it is take care of urself when ur in tibet. mountain climbing can be dangerous. i know ur concerned abt me & what i do especially when ur not around. give me time & i'll try to cut down not to have frequent late nights.

*James >> stupid boy` LOLS. sorry eh i'm always busy whenever u call me - who ask u duno how to ask at the right time. haha. dun worry i wun forget ur movie & dinner. lolls. next time i teach u how to be more gay den ur acting can be better dun nid so jialat le. HAHA. ehh u not scared i help u write nonsense in the paper ah. lolls.

*Adrian >> congrats yeah ! haha. am really happy for u (: dun forget our big treat okie. LOLS. nahh` just kidding. work hard yeah & i believe u'll be vv successful in the future *hugs*

will you catch her when she falls ;

freaking zombified cum pandified right now. lolls. shall sleep after my entry` cant stand it. perhaps age is catching up. lolls. bllah` eeks i sound like a old woman - _ - headed to sentosa after sch on friday with ame & hafiz for our Sales Project. weather wasnt pretty good when we arrived` was praying hard dat it would not rain so as not to affect our trip. tankiex god it had slight drizzle & the weather was kinda cooling. spent abt 6 hours just by visiting 4 attractions - Fort Siloso, Images of Sing, Merlion & Skytower. tiring day but had loadsa fun. hadnt had the chance to visit the other attractions for there wasnt much time. took lotsa snappies & yes the view at Merlion was breath taking. simply to say its beautiful. haha. Sky tower practically was a waste of time but at least we got to experience & see for ourselves. urgh & i've got bitten on my face` stupid mosquitoe. my face where got blood for dem to suck. met up with sarah dottie at town to complete the outline our english project. was LATE again. oh mymy` sorry dottie to have kept u waiting =X after 2 hours of brain wrecking, its finally done. can't imagine about the freaking report next. urgh! went to buy darling one pressie - hope she likes it. haha. was late again & sorry ling to have made u wait. its terrible - maybe its time to manage my time instead of being late & rushing all the time. lolls. had dinner with darling one together with mhong + crystal & her bro. food was great but i couldnt eat much have got not much of an appetite. ladies night out with sarah dotti, glenda & priscilla at momo. saw dennis & barry there. had fun with the sweetiies` we were practically crazy & dancing the night away. lolls. pushed a guy down the podium for trying to be an ass squeezing himself with us. urgh` and this stupid bitch frm blady cheena. her fcuking pea brains must have some probs to try & create trouble` bllah. fancy taking up so much space & almost pushed us off the podium. urgh! kept hitting me with her butt dat i got so irritated & pushed her back. loser sia still can 1-1 with me. so "scared" was damn gleeful when i saw dat pekcek look on her face. haha. cant stand cheenas` useless piece of shit - the only thing dey know is to aim & get money. stayed over at glen's place till dis afternoon & headed to town. i'm drop dead tired now. must have drained away all my energy last night. cant imagine me able to have the energy for my kickboxing when i'm freaking shag` haha. yes i know i'm crazy. my face look like shit now - freaking panda eyes. eeks (x.x) oh yes. i seriously think that i'm getting fairer each day. my face is like freaking white when i take pics in the night. i suspect that i drank bleach by accident when i was a baby. lolls. okay craps. my brain has stopped functioning & i better =X

** aint no snappies today
reason - tired & lazy..
- shall upload the next enty

will you catch her when she falls ;

*yawns* aint no idea why am i feeling so sleepy` shall have my twinkle dreams after i blog. ahh shit my muscles are kinda aching due to yday's yoga combat which comprises of kickboxing. tink i exert too much strength. lolls. whatever. gotta head down to la selle theatre in the evening to attend some stuffs & the best thing is i've clueless idea of where it is. searched online using the street directory but it aint no help. haha. yes i'm a direction cum road idiot - cant blame me coz its always my dd who send me ard. haha. guess its pointless when i've gotten my licence for i probably get lost. perhaps i'm born to be driven around & not to drive. LOLS. so imagine a blur ass trying to figure out how to around + she doesnt even noe how to go about taking bus except for the train. haha. i'm hopeless man. been pampered for too long & what else can u expect from a dd's girl? lolls. urgh. its frigging difficult to wake up early in the morning & always ended up rushing like hell for i always overslept. is there any way out to help meeee - besides sleeping early? lolls. i hate taking the train in the morning` hell it sure do pisses me off. i mean wassup with those ppl? dun they have eyes to see that ppl are trying to get out of frm those sardine pack train? and they can actually stare at u not moving a single bit thou they are near the blady door? can't they move their blady ass or is their ass too heavy to be moved or should i ask the president or get a sedan for them to move their ass & excuse those trying to get out? i was like squashed & being stuck this morning so i practically pushed those assholes to get my way out & i think i pushed someone till he / she lost the balance. haha` cant be bothered. serve them right & dun u try provoking me in the morning as i'm forever half awake so my mood aint stable yet. aint no wonder why but i'm like freaking blur these days thou i'm like already a blur shit. haha. bllah. i can't wait for the weekends` with projects to complete, celebrating of darling one's birthday & getting crazy with my lovely girls (= *yawns* okay enough of my shittiness i wana have my beauty sleep & twinkle dreams (-.-)zZz

** ling >> my dearie one. haha. tankies for everything *muacks* had a great talk with ya last night & tankies for lending a listening ear. am really blessed to have u as my darling cuzzie this lifetime. anyway.. i hope things will turn out right & work out for u. dun worry & fret too much. thou its just a beginning stage but u nbr know what will happen. if its meant to be it'll be. i know that there will be obstacles & stuff obstructing ur decision if it happens to work out but dun let it affect u for its u urself who are living ur life for. don't be afraid to show out ur feelings or emotions. listen to ur heart & let it speak. just do what u think is right k & i'm sure he'll be able to feel it one day. just dun hide ur emotions & delude urself for its terrible & u'll regret later on - which i dun wish to see u be hurt. i hope things will work out well for u & i'll be happy to see u having to possess ur happiness. just remember i'll always be here for u - whenever u need me i'll be there *huggs* llurrbbiie u loads ! ..and Happy 1 day Advanced Birthday to ya.. i'll definately have diinner & celebrate with u yah.. *muahhs*

+ snappies for today's entry +

who's that girl with that retarded face. LOLS ;P

will you catch her when she falls ;

hmm. it feels kinda weird today for it doesnt seem like a monday to me. tink i'm suffering frm insomia` lolls. couldnt get to sleep last night till early morning & i overslept again. urgh! wonder how am i gona survive when dd's not around. he's going oversea to work again & is flying off to U.S tml. gona take the stupid train for 2 weeks + its been a long time since i took train in the morn - hate it loads. =/ if only i've got my licence much earlier. ahh whatever` am pia-ing for it now & hopefully i'll get it by next year. wonder how am i gona stay out late when dd's not around for mummy would definately scream at me. guess its time to work out my brains for some stupid ideas. LOLS :x yippee` i've finally gotten my allowance for dis month *pphews* but 5o bucks has flew off & i duno wad did i do with it. stupid me having STM again. haha. i wana do shopping & buy loads of things but i cant spend much dis month coz i've a feeling i'll go broke again - gotta spend wisely & control ! *siighhs* tink its time for some actions & seek the easiest way out. dd's my only saviour. LOLS. i've got no other way out for i cant possibly work part time now. dis is so shitty man. urgh! and yes i gotta be doublely sweet now so that i can persuade him to settle my yoga otherwise confirm die la. haha :x just transferred all my pics in my mem card to my com & yes i aint gona upload everything today for i'm kinda lazy. haha. blleahhs.

** brother bear >> i know u still read my blog thou ur like a silent reader now. lolls. i'm so sad la am i that kinda person who doesnt give a slightest damn abt my friendship? i'll not be bothered if the friendship aint worthy to be kept but i do care okie. how can u say that i dun wan u already *sobs* i know i havent been contacting u much lately / recently / that often but that doesnt mean i've forgotten abt u - u will & always be my brother bear. pls dun tink that i've neglected / ignore u - its just that i've been busy & lately i've been having lotsa problems within me. am sorry if i made u feel dis way.. take care yeah & i'll catch up with ya sometime soon. *hugs*

+ Snap shot for today's entry +

* winkiies blinky blink blink *

lalala. another stupid pose of hers. LOLS.

will you catch her when she falls ;

ahh. i'm crazy fancy waking up so early when i slept at 7 in the morn *yawns* but i dun feel slpy which is strange for i always do. haha. sooo tired` aint any plans today shall be a gd girl & stay at home except for yoga in the evening with darling one & maybe a slacking session at our usual place. lolls. hmm. shall influence her to come & stay over tonight if i'm able to` miss those good old days. nothing much happening in sch yday except for CTIS - handing down of reps to daphy niece & mr shaun! so happenninngg. lolls. wonder how will dis sem CTIS outing gona turn out to be for there's gona be halloween, geylang serai & christmas. hopefully it'll be happening especially halloween. haha. llammee. F.O = sucks. keep condeming ppl in our class` wonder wads her prob. simply cant stand her now - so artificial. whatever` dun give a damn. was supposed to head to sentosa after sch but was cancelled at the vv last min [*sorry to my grpies for the inconvenience caused & cancelling it at the last min + i know it isnt light to carry our stuffs around (x-x) ] wasnt intending to go anywhere but to rest at home. lolls. glen called in the night asking to go black as its silver's birthday. and yes i guess u predicted the outcome` haha. i went - meeting glen & ad outside black at 1o3o. tankies god mama went down to the park to exercise for she would scream if she were to know where i was going. had to rush & get out of the house as quickly as i could. haha. oh yes` yday black was sooooo damn happening!!! its like the first time ever we enjoyed ourselves so much. woohoo. music was like almost RnBs all the way? haha. had great fun with my 2 cks & in the end its left with me & glen again. lolls. and u know what someone told me i look like that stupid Daphne of S.IDOL again` urgh!! i dun like her la and do I REALLY RESEMBLE LIKE HER? - _ -"'

+ Happy Belated Birthday Silver !

**Adrian >> my greatest buddy i could ever ask for. haha. i dun care what ppl say or how they perceive things to be coz thats their problem. it isnt a crime for a girl & a guy to have close friendship. they can eat lots of vinegar for all they want. haha. thou there are times whereby we had small conflicts & stuff but no matter what you are & always be my greatest buddy ever (= *hugs* tankies for everything u have done & being there for me when i've got problems. simply to say u brighten up my life in school.

**Glenda >> u crazy clubbing khakhi. lolls. uuuuu make me crazy - but i likkeee. lolls (= there's always so many happening things happening when two crazy asses getting & being crazy together like nobody's business. haha. really had a great time with ya & tankies for everything as well as the ride home last night. *hugs* the next time round we shall go even crazier.. LOLS

will you catch her when she falls ;

i'm like a total zombie in sch today` so lethagic & sleepy. lolls. had like 3.5 hours of beauty slp only? - _ - *yawns* it was such a nice weather to sleep - couldnt even get out of my bed & overslept till dd had to wake me up. lolls` drank coffee to keep me awake but it din help much. fell aslp during lesson again. oh boyy` its bad & i'm trying hard not to slp during lesson dis sem but i just couldnt help it. haha. lessons aint dat bad` at least i learnt a tiny wheeny bit during tourism geography thou it still seem like ancient greek to me. haha. siians. i'm still broke & haben gotten my allowance yet luckily dd gave me a blue note last night (= & i guess its gona be gone soon for i'm going sentosa dis friday with my grpies for our project research. i wonder wads wrong with ppl these days. do they have nothing better to do & create trouble? took the lift together with this girl who lived 2 floors above me. aint no idea whats her prob` kept staring at me frm head to toe(for no apparent reason) the moment i entered the lift till i got out. stupid girl. she tink i duno dat she's staring at me but i've been watching her thru the reflections of the glass panel. idiots. want to stare do it openly la - hope her eyeballs get strained. just like that urey or whatever shit girl in our sch as well as that stupid girl who assumes ad likes her *pukes* perhaps i should buy a kite for her & ask her out to marina south as a reward for always staring at me. get what i'm hinting at? lolls. bllahh. yes i'm starting to crap again..

oh yesss.. i wana go hk dis dec

will you catch her when she falls ;

played games during pms again` super thrilling & happening. guess i prefer it more den dinner dash & i found out the name. its Zuma Deluxe. another addictive game. [*glen! pms - go to the 2nd row of the 2nd computer to play it. still left afew more mins.] i'm tired` just came back not long from town after attending my stuff & it brighten my mood thou i wasnt energetic - lack of slp again. it does make a great difference attending my stuff for it really made me forget everything & just be what i feel like it. my cheery mood din last not long for it diminished soon. i'm so freaking pissed till i teared again` pissed with every single things including myself. i just simply don't understand. why issit that everything single thing i do doesnt meet the eye of them or maybe her. i know i'm not perfect & never will i be` no doubt the fact that i can nbr be as capable as him but fcuk i've enough. sick & tired. do they even understand my feelings & my thoughts? do they even sense whether i've got problem? its just so unfair. i'm also a human. does she think that only he has got emotions but not me. does she think that he is the only one being stressed out at sch and not me. why cant i show out my emotion too when i'm at my lowest spirit. no matter how hard i try there will & forever be every little faults in it. even when i'm not at fault i always ended having one. afterall i know i'm like the worst among the rest. so what. i dun give a shit. its me and not dem// they dun defy & i do they love books but i dun` they dun club but i do` they dun stand up for what they want but i do` why must i continue to try so hard to change myself? even if i do` its pointless. seriously i'm sick of struggling. its painful to have troubles within & feeling helpless. i'm getting tired of every little thing. fcuk. i can't be bothered & dun give a fcuking care to my life anymore. why should i open up myself to ppl. do they know what i'm going through? have they gone throught & experience the pain that i suffered? i'm not bullshitting but its true for there are too many hidden things that aint meant to say out. i'm so sick of everything - one day i should really leave this place for good even if it will be torturous at least it makes me feel much happier.

will you catch her when she falls ;

monday blues & its always a boring start of the week. school as usual nothing much happening with PMS & F.O` lolls. PMS was alrights thou i kinda fell asleep` lolls. can't blame mee. am sleepy - lack of my 8 hrs beauty sleep. haha. played some games in the lab` was pretty fun can fight with dinner dash - think more exciting den dat game. [ *CK ladies.. go & d/l k but i forgot the name. lolls. shall let u babes noe again ] F.O as usual so boring & i guess i wasnt paying much attention to her due to being in a battle` me VS my lil buggie. lolls. so happening - better den listening to her boring teachings. in the end i won. so sickening kept luring me to my twinkle dreams. lolls. how crap can i get` bllahs. at least i paid attention when she taught the 2nd manual. imagine one hour on just 1 page - super lag. perhaps i should get her a terapin on teachers day. lolls. okay i better =X before i get more crappy. went town just now to attend my stuff` blady hell. so irritating - they postponed it & duno how to inform ppl. urgh! make me waste my trip down` luckily dd sent me dere today & i din take the train otherwise confirm pissed off. how idiotic can they get !@#$%^&* at least it wasnt much of a wasted trip for i had dinner at town with my parents & it was yummy yum yum - tofu & kailan but i skipped the chix. lolls. aint a meat lover. din noe the kopii shop near sha villa had nice food (= lalala. okie i'm lazy to continue.. blog more craps when i feel like it`

- snappies to end the day -

**pic too small ? if ur clever enuff u should know what to do.

will you catch her when she falls ;

woke up kinda late ard 2+ today. oh boy` sorry ad// i was supposed to go & support their soccer final as promised but i overslept.. thou i set my alarm but just couldnt open my eyes` so sorry :x hopefully their soccer match would be a success & beat the other teams (= aint going anywhere today besides my yoga in the evening. oh yeahhh` more boxing & kicking. haha. gona stay at home & rest + start on my tourism geography project - the skeleton of it to be handed up tml. how great can dat be. solo solo solo.. lalala. i'm the powerpuff fighting off mojojo. bllah` craps. haha. mummy showed me attitude for she knows i went clubbing & disapprove of me going. due to my health & other stuff. whatever` din wana say much for yday was the last time clubbing that often. since its already october i've promised to club twice a month & i'll keep up to it. and yes the promise i made wasnt for her coz i noe dere aint gona be twice but none. lolls. :x perhaps i shall be a novelist. lolls. staying at home every wkend & read a novel. blahh. isnt that simply just great? guess if i actually do dat it'll be totally shocking & unbelievable + my parents will tink sumthing aint right with me - but dey rather prefer me to be dis way isnt it. i must be a good girl & good girl doesnt go breaking their parents heart but to obey them. hahaha. how crap can i get. why issit so hard to go along / please them.. they dun like it when i'm out & when i'm not they think i'm weird. so which is which. urgh.

how amazing can i get these days & i'm pretty please with myself. i actually woke up early on a sat morn to go for my yoga. it was hard waking up but i managed to` haha. even so i was almost late for the class again. lolls :x dd was like saying i'm bad at timing - always rushing & being late. lolls. went home to rest & conserve my energy. mummy asked if i wana visit my granny & i told her i was going out. she was practically .... first thing she said was coming back home vv late again & blah blah blah` guess she suspected i'm going clubbing. decided to scram before things get worse. initially i thought of finishing up the stupid project but i cudnt be bothered to do it` in the end i fell asleep & realised it was 6. lolls. gotta rush again for we're meeting at glen's place by 7. lolls. as usual being late again. lolls :x had dinner at glen's place & painted my nails pink (= [**tankies glen for the meal & ur varnish. haha!] club hop again// the 6 of us (me,glen,abbie,michelle,shiying & tiffany) headed down to momo & the queue was freaking long. aint no idea why - it was never ending. decided not to go in & we walked to cocolatte. dun really like that place. music & the place not happening enough. so small & pack + no r & b. met up with vivien and so we headed back to momo ard 12+. [**tankies to todeff/vivien for signing us in (= ] saw andrew, laren, lester & gf, silva & silva's bf - shawn. momo was fun yday & enjoyed ourselves. din drink much` had few sips of b.breezer frm vivi & B52 with glen (= oh & not forgetting the baileys at glen's place. lolls. oh yes i was so happy to see Shirin again after many months/days of not bumping into her. lolls (= oh boy` miss her loads. catch up & did some chattings with her. aint no idea when are we meeting again - hopefully we'll be able to meet up some time soon *hugs*//

school as usual` nothing happening except on friday. should i say` manual finally showed her true colours & perhaps wells influenced her or was it she is just putting up an act all along & cudnt stand pretending any longer. whatever` who cares cnt be bothered also. can't stand the rate she teach also. makes me drift into twinkleland. had project discussion on thurs & fri - which i guess it doesnt help much. had lunch with glen & alison after sch on thurs. slacked quite awhile & had great time with them. after which glen & i headed to town. bought 2 lovely ear-rings to add into my collection & i love it loads (= decided to head to bugis village after town & how torturous can it be not having $$ with u. but who cares. lolls. it was fun chopping & there'll be m0re to come when i bring my chopper. LOLS :x too bad had to rush home to change & headed back to town to attend my stuffs. it was fun & simply great. made me learn many things & i duno why it always brighten my mood (= it just somehow made me forget abt my troubles.

**to the lovely babes >> clubbing with u babes was so much fun & tankies for making last night so happening *hugs* really enjoyed myself & shall club another time later on in the month. oh yes` GLLENNNN... ur my best clubbing khakhi ever` always having so much fun & so happening. its simply great larhs. lolls. too bad must cut down cnt be go crazy dat often` haha. but dun worry also not say i gona quit hor` i'll still be ard and protect all of u from those stupid hummies. LOLLS. oh yes tankies abbie & glen for helping me to get my sch shoe (= *hugs*

**Losers, Posers & meow meows>> get a life. u simply sucks by not having an originality of urs. is imitating or copying or competing so great` oh well u sucks to the core. dun u have a brain on ur own. must it be a neccesity or for ppl to print out COPY RIGHT PROTECTED to prevent u asses from being such losers. how abt i teach u how to continue being a loser & make ur life so much easier. my as well u purchase a scanner, scan urself into the computer, transfer ur brains into the ram & edit copy paste. that way is so much easier for u dun have to go through all the troubles since u losers simply love to meowie all the way` if ur clever enuff to know what i'm trying to say gd for u. dumb asses go refer urself to the dictorionary. hmm. oh to make this clear` i'm not pin pointing to anyone in particular its just that nowadays the surrounding population of meowie losers are increasing. if u think this is meant for u i suggest u go to the temple and do some thinking reflections or meditate or whatever shit to clear ur name of being a loser.

perhaps some of u might be wondering or curious abt my entry on thurs.. lolls. actually its nothing much` i'm just feeling extremely happy on that day dun ask me why` u can't control ur mood right & dere aint reasons for it. maybe shopping do make one happy (= [but w/o $$] haha. hmm. just that on certain times there are ups and downs` high and low` tall and short. lolls. okay craps. i'm self-entertaining myself again.. lalala.

[[snappies of last wk to end the entries]]

will you catch her when she falls ;